Amy: How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me, and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia.

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.

Sheldon: Thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.

Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey, buddy, can we have some privacy?
Sheldon: Of course. Wouldn't want to intrude. (takes red bra out of his pocket and hands it to Penny) This is yours.
Penny: Okay, when I'm done with him, I'm gonna need more information.
Sheldon: Nothing odd. I just wanted to rub Amy's nose in it.

Leonard: I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?
Sheldon: Yes. And that's coming from me.