Raj: Are they actually arguing about comic books?
Leonard: No, that can't be right.
Howard: Maybe "Thor's Hammer" is a new color of nail polish.

Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, boys.
Stuart: Oh, hey. (To the other customers) Could you please stop staring? They're just girls. It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.
Penny: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: What brings you guys here?
Bernadette: We were looking for a recommendation about comic books.
Stuart: Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them.
Penny: No, we were just wondering why the guys like this stuff so much, so we thought wed give it a try.
Stuart: Oh, okay. What do you think you might be into? Superhero, fantasy, graphic novels, manga? (To the customers) I swear I will turn a hose on you.

Raj: Insurance will replace your car, it won't defunk my junk.

Raj: Can we at least rent the car from Enterprise? (nobody reacts) Oh, screw you! That's funny!

Leonard: What kind of a person steals another person's car in broad daylight?
Sheldon: What kind of person leaves his keys in the car?
Leonard: I thought we agreed this was all Koothrappali's fault.
Sheldon: You're right. (To Raj) Nice going.

Cop: You guys need me to call someone? I'm guessing your moms?
Leonard: Thanks, but we've got it covered.
Howard: Okay, I just talked to my mom.

Leonard: Set your phasers to stun. If we vaporize Penny, I'll never get a girlfriend that pretty again.

Bernadette: What kind of comics do the guys like?
Stuart: Um, a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.
Amy: All right, well, who's the best superhero?
Stuart: Shh! You can't ask a question like that in here. Are you trying to start a rumble?

Raj: What's wrong with people? Why don't they stop?
Sheldon: Maybe we're better off. What if we were to get in a car with a crazy person?
Leonard: Look at us, Sheldon. We're the crazy people!

Raj: And we're blending, and we're blending, and we're done. Sheldon: I know Mr. Data isn't supposed to smile, but here it comes. Howard: (Dressed as a Borg) Come on, guys. Let's do this. Leonard: (dressed as Captain Picard): Yeah, I'm sweating my bald cap off.

Penny: If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?
Amy: Okay, if you are going to start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously.

Bernadette: Well, what if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up, Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor, Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy, and he picks up a girl, and then we all leave together, did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?

Leonard: Come on, let's just start walking. There's got to be a gas station or something nearby.
Sheldon: What, you think just because you're wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: All right.

Raj: I'll call 911. What, oh, no, my phone is in my other pants.
Howard: Oh, so is mine.
Leonard: Mine, too. Anybody got any ideas?
Sheldon: Nope. The only thing left to do now is assign blame. (To Raj) Nice going.

Howard: Oh, my God. Leonard, someone's stealing your car!
Leonard: What? Hey, hey! Come back here!
Raj: Stop!
Sheldon: Stealing is against the law!

Howard: So what's our first pose going to be?
Raj: I say we begin with a classic Star Trek fight scene.
Leonard: I'll set the timer.
Howard: Sheldon, how is that a fight pose?
Sheldon: Mr. Data's weapon is his mind. I'm wielding it.

Stuart: If I were you, I'd go for Fables number one. The artwork is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women.
Penny: Ooh, Thor! He's hot.
Stuart: Yeah, he kind of is.

Stuart: Well, uh, let's see. You've got your basic clean-cut good guys, Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.
Amy: Ooh, I do love a bad boy.
Penny: As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.

(The girls enter Stuart's comic book store)
Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, boys.

Sheldon: I think you should turn on the GPS.
Leonard: It is on.
Sheldon: But the turn-by-turn voice option isn't on. I know I'd feel more safe if you turn on the turn-by-turn voice option. I love the turn-by-turn voice option.
Howard: Has it really only been ten miles?

Bernadette: It's cute how excited they are. You should have seen Howard sewing his costume all week for the convention.
Amy: When did Howard learn to sew?
Bernadette: When he was a little boy, every couple months, he would have to let his mom's pants out.

Sheldon: That's a wise policy. I once borrowed my sister's makeup for a costume contest. Got a terrible case of pinkeye. But luckily, I was going as a zombie. I won second place.

Leonard: Hey, will you steam my uniform next?
Sheldon: Interesting. Do you recall this conversation? Leonard, want to go halfsies on a steamer? No, Sheldon, we don't need a steamer. Looks like that rumpled chicken's come home to roost.

Howard: I wish my mom was here. We could all hang out in her shadow.

Amy: Thor is a god. The hammer is his. Only he can use it. It's like Sheldon and his toothbrush. Or his thin, beckoning lips.

Raj: Great idea. I haven't had a carbohydrate in two weeks. These cheekbones need to be in front of a camera before I eat a pretzel and they're gone.

Amy: Sheldon doesn't believe in brunch. He can't stand being at a table where one person's having an omelette and another person's having a sandwich.
Bernadette: That's not exhausting at all.

Penny: Oh, this is the best. You have booze with breakfast on a Tuesday, you got a problem. You do it on the weekend, you got brunch.

Penny: Well then why are you going?
Sheldon: It's a comic book convention. You know, it's like pizza or particle accelerators, even the stinky one's still pretty good.

Leonard: That was San Diego Comic-Con. This is Bakersfield Comic-Con.
Penny: Is that better?
Leonard: Well, it's a lot smaller. It's more about the comic books. The way these conventions used to be before they went all Hollywood.
Sheldon: So to answer your question, no, it's not better.

Penny: Damn, you've got more makeup than I do. You've got better makeup than I do. Yeah, I'm borrowing this.
Leonard: Hey, hey, hey. This is my Comic-Con makeup. I love you, but there are some things a man doesn't share with his girlfriend.