Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, boys.
Stuart: Oh, hey. (To the other customers) Could you please stop staring? They're just girls. It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.
Penny: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: What brings you guys here?
Bernadette: We were looking for a recommendation about comic books.
Stuart: Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them.
Penny: No, we were just wondering why the guys like this stuff so much, so we thought wed give it a try.
Stuart: Oh, okay. What do you think you might be into? Superhero, fantasy, graphic novels, manga? (To the customers) I swear I will turn a hose on you.

Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.

Howard: Hang on, I know a place where you could you stay and earn some money at the same time.
Stuart: Great!
Howard: I just have to warn you: it will involve humiliation, degradation and verbal abuse.
Stuart: So, what's the catch?

Bernadette: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: *startled* Hey.
Bernadette: Sorry, did I startle you?
Stuart: Yes, but at this point pretty much any customer does.

Raj: Are they actually arguing about comic books?
Leonard: No, that can't be right.
Howard: Maybe "Thor's Hammer" is a new color of nail polish.

Raj: Insurance will replace your car, it won't defunk my junk.

Raj: Can we at least rent the car from Enterprise? (nobody reacts) Oh, screw you! That's funny!