Amy: Sheldon doesn't believe in brunch. He can't stand being at a table where one person's having an omelette and another person's having a sandwich.
Bernadette: That's not exhausting at all.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Raj: Are they actually arguing about comic books?
Leonard: No, that can't be right.
Howard: Maybe "Thor's Hammer" is a new color of nail polish.

Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, boys.
Stuart: Oh, hey. (To the other customers) Could you please stop staring? They're just girls. It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.
Penny: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: What brings you guys here?
Bernadette: We were looking for a recommendation about comic books.
Stuart: Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them.
Penny: No, we were just wondering why the guys like this stuff so much, so we thought wed give it a try.
Stuart: Oh, okay. What do you think you might be into? Superhero, fantasy, graphic novels, manga? (To the customers) I swear I will turn a hose on you.

Raj: Insurance will replace your car, it won't defunk my junk.