Quotes from ‘The Prom Equivalency’

The Prom Equivalency

The Prom Equivalency
Season 8, Episode 8 - Aired November 6, 2014

After Penny's old prom dress brings up memories of their proms, the girls decide to recreate prom night on the roof of the apartment building. As Sheldon learns about prom customs, he worries that Amy will expect something to happen between them.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: I really did think you looked pretty.
Amy: You did?
Sheldon: Yes. So much so that I started to panic.
Amy: Well you can relax. Just because you think I look pretty doesn't mean we have to spend the night together.
Sheldon: Were you hoping we would because it's prom?
Amy: I'm always hoping. But tonight, I just wanted to have a nice time with you. Maybe dance with someone who has arms.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: There's no denying that I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.

Quote from Bernadette

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Howard, get off of him.
Howard: Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Okay, here we go. [to Leonard & Penny] Say cheese. [to Sheldon & Amy] Say cheese. [to Howard & Bernadette] Say cousin.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Thank you for understanding.
Amy: Of course I understand. Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just. I want you to know you don't have to say it back. I know you're not ready and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates -
Sheldon: I love you, too.
Amy: You said it.

Quote from Howard

Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother. I have a date.
Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: That, believe it or not, is my prom dress.
Bernadette: Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in a corner of a barn somewhere.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Stuart: What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on between me and your mother.
Mrs. Wolowitz (o.s.): Stewie, your bath is getting cold!

Quote from Raj

Raj: Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I've wanted to go to an American prom. But then I saw Carrie and did not want to go to an American prom. Then I saw Never Been Kissed and I'm back on the prom bandwagon. This prom things been a real rollercoaster.

Quote from Penny

Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is 'popular'.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Why can't he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
Howard: I didn't take her. She was a chaperone.
Bernadette: I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
Howard: Well what was I gonna do? They were playing our song.

Quote from Penny

Amy: You went to seven proms?
Penny: Yeah. Let's see, four "under the seas", two "enchanted evenings", and one night to remember - that I can not remember for the life of me.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: How was your prom? Did you go?
Amy: No, but I was on cleanup crew.
Penny: Aw, that's sad.
Amy: No, it was okay. The DJ let me dance one slow dance with my mop before he shut down. Whenever I see a bucket of dirty water, I still hear Lady in Red.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: You're making me worry. What's going on?
Sheldon: What's going is we're about to go to a prom and there's a great deal of pressure on young couples like us to engage in what Mr. Bob Eubanks called "makin' whoopee".

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Sorry, kid, you got it worse than a gibbon.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Did you go to your prom?
Sheldon: No. I had a date with a proper education. Instead of a tuxedo, I dressed myself in good habits. Instead of spiked punch, I enjoyed the intoxicating flavor of knowledge. Instead of dancing in a gym, I shook my bootie to the seductive rhythms-
Penny: Okay, okay.
Sheldon: -of AP calculus.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Well you wouldn't have asked me either.
Leonard: I would have asked you. In my head. On the way home. While I was having a good cry.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I thought you were gonna pretend to be an alien.
Sheldon: I was, but Penny didn't want to. You didn't want to. Bernadette, Amy, Koothrappali and Wolowitz didn't want to. And even I knew it was weird to hire somebody.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Lots of people wear matching pajamas who aren't dating.
Raj: Like who?
Howard: Like you and your dog.
Leonard: Don't rule out the dating.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Was that a flask?
Sheldon: Yes. I've decided to embrace all the traditions associated with prom, including spiking the punch.
Leonard: You're gonna put alcohol in the punch?
Sheldon: Oh, no, this is pomegranate juice. It's all the fun of high-school hijinks, with the self-protecting zip of anti-oxidants.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I think I've come up with the perfect way for us to enjoy it.
Penny: Great. How?
Sheldon: We pretend we're aliens. We pretend we're aliens. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I'm gonna say that you love it and wanna hear more.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges. If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well then I will happily catch them with the reproductive sack on my upper flermin.
I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Quote from other character

Raj: This is so messed up.
Emily: I know. I'm having the best time!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wow, wow, wow, wow. Just because I love you, doesn't mean girls are allowed in my room.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: So I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys's. She passed me the Manischewitz, I took one look at this punim, and almost plotzed on the kugel.

Quote from other character

Raj: This is so messed up.
Emily: I know, I'm having the best time.