Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother. I have a date.
Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Sheldon: I really did think you looked pretty.
Amy: You did?
Sheldon: Yes. So much so that I started to panic.
Amy: Well you can relax. Just because you think I look pretty doesn't mean we have to spend the night together.
Sheldon: Were you hoping we would because it's prom?
Amy: I'm always hoping. But tonight, I just wanted to have a nice time with you. Maybe dance with someone who has arms.

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Raj: Okay, here we go. [to Leonard & Penny] Say cheese. [to Sheldon & Amy] Say cheese. [to Howard & Bernadette] Say cousin.