Sheldon: Can I get you anything else?
Amy: No, thanks. I think I'm good.
Sheldon: You sure? There's still plenty of pork fat. Although, if we don't eat it, I suppose we could turn it into soap.
Amy: That might taste better.

Sheldon: Uh-oh.
Amy: What?
Sheldon: I left the food out.
Amy: You afraid it's gonna go good?

Amy: I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.

Sheldon: So this is for Amy's birthday. Can I leave it here?
Leonard: Sure. What is it?
Sheldon: A butter churn.
Penny: Aw, that's what I got her.

Sheldon: And then after dinner, we will have birthday coitus.
Penny: Do you think that will also be historically accurate?
Leonard: I assume like the rest of frontier life, it'll be exhausting and short.
Sheldon: You're exhausting and short.

Amy: Did the electricity go out?
Sheldon: I don't know what you mean by "electricity," ma'am. I am just a farmer boy living in a little house on the prairie.

Amy: Is that butter?
Sheldon: Yes. But don't blow it all on one biscuit. Took me nine hours to make that. I think I got churner's elbow.

Amy: Feel any better?
Sheldon: I feel terrible. Well, should we make love now?
Amy: How can you even think about sex?
Sheldon: Hey, I'm a man; I have annual needs just like anyone.

Penny: So, how long have you been working on this?
Leonard: Oh, couple hours. I took a break to try to beat my high score on Mario Kart.
Penny: Well, did you do it?
Leonard: Do you see it on the board?

Leonard: It's just a day trip, but we could take the ferry out to Catalina.
Penny: Great, let's do it.
Sheldon: (rushing in to the apartment) Amy's in the bathroom and I need to - (retches, bathroom door shuts, vomits loudly)
Penny: It's like I can hear the ocean already.

Sheldon: How are you feeling?
Amy: Ugh. My stomach aches, I got the chills, my mouth tastes weird, it hurts to swallow, and I've got a little double vision.
Sheldon: Yeah. I'm feeling better, too.

Leonard: Well, we've been married two years. Should we think about what's next? Like buying a house or having a baby?
Penny: Look, I want to do all those things someday, but there's a bunch of stuff I want to do first.
Leonard: Okay, like what?
Penny: I don't know, stay thin and have money.

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, two questions: Do you have the new Aquaman, and do you mind if I use your back room to smoke some meat?
Stuart: Well, since it's you asking, I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.
Howard: Why are you smoking meat?
Leonard: And why are you reading Aquaman?
Sheldon: I am trying to make Amy a historically accurate Little House on the Prairie dinner for her birthday, and I want to be able to say I was reading it before it was cool.
Howard: Wow, well, that's actually really sweet.
Leonard: The dinner thing. The Aquaman thing's dumb.

Leonard: Really? Is this still happening?
Howard: I'm willing to make up, but someone's being a baby.
Sheldon: Ooh! I do love a riddle. Oh, let me see. See, my first guess would be Halley, but that'd be strange to accuse her of being a baby 'cause she is a baby. Um, I suppose it could be Stuart; his head does have a certain milky scent.

Howard: You're a grown man; act like it.
Raj: Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book.
Howard: Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.