Stuart: Come on, you guys have been friends forever. Quit fighting.
Raj: I have an extra ticket to the opening of The Last Jedi tonight. It was gonna be Howard's, but you can have it.
Stuart: You two had a good run.

Leonard: Uh, who wants to go see Last Jedi again tonight?
Raj: Mm, I'm in.
Sheldon: Me, too. It'll be nice to see the parts I missed while I was blinking.

Leonard: Okay, that's enough. This fight either has to end or get way more entertaining.

Howard: Great. Can you bring a few things?
Stuart: Sure. What do you need?
Howard: Balloons, streamers, ice, snacks, a bounce house, face painter, and a couple kids whose parents are willing to lie and say they know me from the Daddy and Me class I've never been to.
Stuart: Where do you and Halley go every week?
Howard: The important thing is we're together, and if the movie gets too violent, I cover her eyes.

Sheldon: Well, I hope you're hungry.
Amy: Oh, I'm starving.
Sheldon: Oh, good. Starvation is authentic to the time period. If you also have malaria and a deep distrust of Native Americans, we're really cooking with a woodstove.

Penny: What are you doing?
Leonard: Oh, I've decided to write my own Christmas letter. So I'm gonna make a list of all the cool things we did this year.
Penny: Oh, fun. Can I help?
Leonard: Yes. Can you think of a single cool thing we did this year?

Penny: Uh, well, both of our jobs are going great.
Leonard: Sure. I mean, my Air Force project got taken away, and you're not crazy about selling pharmaceuticals. I'll just write down "still employed."

Leonard: Oh, we had our second anniversary.
Penny: Uh, yeah, but we did kind of forget about it, so maybe just write "still married."

Leonard: Let's look at our pictures; that-that'll jog our memories.
Penny: What is that a picture of?
Leonard: Oh, uh, that's a mole on my back. I wanted to make sure it wasn't growing.
Penny: How'd you get a picture of your own back?
Leonard: Sheldon took it. We're kind of mole buddies.

Penny: Hey, that's a cute picture. Isn't that the day we almost went to the beach?
Leonard: Memorial Day?
Penny: No, that was the day we almost went to the mountains.
Leonard: Oh. That's the great thing about California; you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach in the same day.
Penny: Yeah.

Howard: Are you gonna help me or not?
Raj: No, I will not help you. (sighs) But I will help Halley. She's my goddaughter, and I love her. And I have a lot of party favors left over from Cinnamon's birthday, so I hope she likes things that squeak when you chew on them.
Howard: Sh-She's a human being, not an animal. But that actually would be a hit.

Amy: I think I'm just gonna go over here and sit on the couch.
Sheldon: Oh, great. Then we will move on to stage two: the pitching of woo.

Stuart: How you two feeling?
Sheldon: Oh, a little better. Those books should have been called Little Outhouse on the Prairie.

Sheldon: You know it's still your birthday.
Amy: (chuckles) It is.
Sheldon: And we are both feeling better.
Amy: We are. And there's no one in that bounce house.
Sheldon: Great. Let's go jump for a bit, and then find a bedroom to have coitus in.

Sheldon: Should I read you some bawdy 19th century limericks?
Amy: (chuckles) Okay.
Sheldon: Oh, here. "There once was a priest from Terre Haute who purchased a sheep and a goat"
Amy: Hold on a second. Is it getting hot in here?
Sheldon: Well, I didn't even get to the dirty part yet.