Leonard: Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?
Howard: Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one, Bernadette's on bed rest, and (clears throat) I'm lazy.

Sheldon: I know you have a lot on your mind, but when do you think we'll have an answer on those cake flowers?

Leonard: What you reading?
Penny: Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter.
Leonard: Ugh. If there's a picture of his wife and his kids and his dogs and his horses all in matching pajamas, I beg you to burn it.

Penny: Aw, the people's pajamas have little horses on them, and the horses' have little people.
Leonard: It's just his chance to brag about how great his life is.
Penny: Oh, come on, it's nice. You know that nonprofit he works with? They built a hospital in Rwanda.
Leonard: (mocking tone) Look at me. I built a hospital in Rwanda.
Penny: That is a good point. I hadn't thought of it that way.

Sheldon: It's for her surprise frontier birthday dinner. I am making hardtack, boiled salt pork, and because it's a special day, a chewable gob of tree sap.
Penny: Is that good?
Sheldon: Uh, compared to other foods, no. Compared to other parts of a tree? Eh.

Howard: Hey, Stuart, you're coming to Halley's party, right?
Stuart: You bet. Plus, I live there and I was invited, so it's already better than my tenth birthday party.

Sheldon: Now, would you care to join me for an authentic frontier dinner made entirely from scratch?
Amy: I can't believe you did this. It's amazing!
Sheldon: Oh, it's not a big deal. Just to be clear, it was a big deal. I was being modest. You got that, right?
Amy: Loud and clear.

Raj: I'd really like to be there.
Howard: Great, 'cause it's tomorrow, and I need you to plan it.
Raj: What?
Howard: Stuart was gonna help, but the free clinic had an open spot for a colonoscopy, and he jumped on it.

Amy: No, I-I'm serious. Do you think there was something wrong with that food?
Sheldon: Frontier scallops? I shouldn't think so.

Amy: My stomach's feeling a little weird.
Sheldon: Yeah. Uh, mine, too. I'm sure it's just the first sharp cramps of arousal.
Amy: No. Th-This doesn't feel right.
Sheldon: Hey, hey, save that sexy talk for the bedroom.

Penny: "Kept Fern alive"? Who's Fern?
Leonard: No, the fern. The one in the bathroom.
Penny: We're really calling that brown thing alive? Okay.

Bernadette: Halley's awake and ready for her party!
Howard: Be right up!
Penny: Ooh, I want to see the birthday girl.
Raj: I'd love to see her.
Bernadette: Walk slow. It takes a while to get this bra back on.

Raj: You know how many favors I had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?
Howard: Is that Wonder Woman?
Raj: Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
Howard: Then I take it back; it's a great party.

Sheldon: I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake. Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it?
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: I'll risk it. But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why.

Stuart: Don't stress about this party. She's one; she's not gonna remember. The other day I showed her her toe, and she was shocked.
Howard: It's not for the baby; it's for Bernadette. She's feeling guilty about all the stuff she's missing with Halley.
Stuart: All right. Uncle Stuart's got your back. Ain't no party like a Stuart party because Stuart's never invited to parties.