Penny: The Flash shirt is what? Because you're gonna run really fast?
Sheldon: No, the Flash shirt is because it's Friday. But it's nice when things work out.

Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.

Penny: You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?
Sheldon: Essentially, yes.
Penny: Okay, here's my question: Didn't you already do that?

Penny: Honey, have you ever run before?
Sheldon: Certainly. I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistent PE teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.

Leonard: What's a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man's underwater best friend.
Leonard: There's someone working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself for my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute you hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls; no one can hate that.

Penny: (To Howard and Raj) So either one of you weirdos wanna buy my underwear? Only 1400 bucks.

Sheldon: What I am doing here is trying to determine when I am going to die.
Leonard: A lot of people are working on that research.

Penny: I'm a little low on cash.
Leonard: How much you got?
Penny: Nothing.
Leonard: How can you walk around with no money?
Penny: I'm cute, I get by.

Penny: What up, Shel-bot?

Penny: Hey. Nice knees.
Sheldon: Thank you! They're my mother's.

Sheldon: Pay no attention to that man in the bed.

Leonard: Refresh my memory. Why didn't I just put you in the trunk?
Sheldon: Because I called shotgun, remember?

Leonard: Cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB? What's KBB?
Sheldon: Killed by badger.
Leonard: How's that?
Sheldon: It was Thanksgiving. Uncle Carl said, "I think there's a badger living in our chimney. Hand me that flashlight." Those were the last words he ever spoke to us.

Sheldon: I believe I may have cholera.
Leonard: There's no cholera in Pasadena. Just like last summer when there was no malaria in Pasadena.

Howard: (Repeating what Raj says) You're right, Penny jogs. Maybe you guys can run together.
Sheldon: That's an excellent idea. Yeah, if we chat, it will create the illusion of time going faster.
Penny: No, it won't.

Leonard: What ya doin' there? Working on a new plan to catch the Road Runner?

Howard: Hey look, it's Leonard and R2-D-bag!

Sheldon: You're my 15th favorite technological visionary.
Steve Wozniak: Only 15th?
Sheldon: It's still six spots above Steve Jobs.

Howard: (To Raj) Really? That's your question? When did he put a ramp in?

Sheldon Cooper: You're my 15th favorite technological visionary.

Steve Wozniak: Only 15th?

Sheldon Cooper: It's still 6 spots above Steve Jobs. I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship.

Steve Wozniak: Yeah, I never got that turtleneck thing.

Sheldon Cooper: One of my proudest possessions is a vintage 1977 Apple. Despite the file system limitations of Apple DOS 3.3, it was a pretty nifty little achievement.

Steve Wozniak: Thanks. We were shooting for nifty. You know if you had it here I'd autograph it for you.

Sheldon Cooper: Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes depending on how the buses are running.

Steve Wozniak: (To his wife) Nerds!

Leonard: Penny, Steve Wozniak was one of the co-founders of Apple computer. He and Steve Jobs.
Penny: Yeah. I know who he is. I watch Dancing With the Stars.

Sheldon: Greetings, friends.
Leonard: (To Robot Sheldon) Greetings, whatever-the-hell you are.

Sheldon: I don't understand why you're not enjoying this. Together, in this car, with my enhanced capabilities, we're like 'Knight Rider.'
Leonard: Except, in Knight Rider, the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
Sheldon: You mock the sphincter, but, the sphincter is a class of muscle without which human beings couldn't survive. There are over 50 different sphincters in the human body. How many can you name?
Leonard: I was wrong. This is exactly like Knight Rider.

Sheldon: (Trying to keep Leonard from reaching his room) Wait. Come back. Halt. Authorized personnel only.

Howard: I say we just take him to Tatooine and sell him to some Jawas.
Raj: That's two, dude. Write your own jokes.

Raj: I'm a lamb!

Sheldon: [through virtual presence device] Sing me Soft Kitty.
Penny: Really, you want me to sing Soft Kitty to a computer monitor?
Sheldon: Would you rather come over and sing it to me in person?
Penny: [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.
Sheldon: Closer to the microphone.
Penny: Happy kitty, sleepy…
Sheldon: No. You have to start over.
Penny: [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.

Sheldon: [through virtual presence device] This is a photograph of the 1911 Solvay Conference on the theory of radiation and quanta. Using Photoshop, I've introduced a few anachronisms. See if you can spot all 24. I'll give you the first one. Madame Curie should not be wearing a digital watch. And go.
Leonard: That’s it. Bye-bye. [turns off screen]
Sheldon: [screen turns on] Bazinga.
Leonard: Whoa! [car swerves]
Sheldon: I have an override switch.
Leonard: I almost died!
Sheldon: And I'm safe and sound in bed. Who's crazy now?
Leonard: I'm still going to go with you.