Sheldon: The correct animal for inter-species super soldier is the koala. You would wind up with an army so cute, it couldn't be attacked.

Sheldon: You shot your spit in my mouth!
Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I can do that again.

Leonard: Sheldon, I promise, your uvula does not have an STD.
Sheldon: Are you sure? It just doesn't feel as innocent as it used to.

Amy: You better watch that attitude, buddy. You're dating the popular girl now.

Sheldon: Wow, pouting and running away actually worked. I must say that may not be a lesson you want to reinforce with me.

Sheldon: I assume you want to reopen our dialogue about the university forcing me to continue with string theory?
Mrs. Davis: You mean the dialogue that went "Please? No. Please? No. Please? No."?
Sheldon: That's the one. I believe you went last, so, please?

Raj: So I've been trying to come up with a cute couple's nickname for me and Emily. What do you like better "Emipalli" or "Koothrapemily".
Howard: Why is it your last name and her first name?
Raj: Well, her last name is Sweeny, and something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeny.

Howard: You reported me to human resources?
Sheldon: You violated the sanctity of my mouth.

Amy: Give me a minute. I'm stimulating the pleasure center of this starfish. I just need to turn it off.
Penny: What happens if you don't?
Amy: Then I have to sit through lunch knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.

Sheldon: Apparently I have a reputation for being "obnoxious".
Leonard: Whaaaaaat?

Amy: Usually when someone's being talked about behind their back, it's me and it's right in front of my face.

Sheldon: Can't talk. Spit ball. Probably gonna die.

Raj: Oh, you bought cookies?
Sheldon: Yes, fig newtons. I was going to ask which scientist both helped to discover calculus and had a famous cookie named after him. And then after someone said Newton, I was going to tell them they're wrong. The cookies are named after a town in Massachusetts. And then I'd throw the cookies away.

Amy: I'm saying, in the spirit of science, what is that little skank's problem?

Howard: And you love the sound of your own voice.
Sheldon: Well, of course I do. Listen to it. It's like an earful of melted caramel.

Howard: Guess what, engineers are just as smart as physicists.
Sheldon: Oh! You take that back!

Amy: Well, I just think she wants you to do well and she's worried you won't because you were just a stunningly bad waitress.
Penny: That is not true.
Amy: I'm still waiting on my mini corndogs from two years ago.
Penny: I told you, they'll be right out.

Sheldon: Amy, please. I am trying to find a way to intellectually emasculate a dear friend of mine.

Sheldon: So your solution is to promote me and pay me more money, so I can impart my knowledge to the next generation of scientists?
Mrs. Davis: Yes.
Sheldon: You people are sick.

Amy: Hey, girlfriend. Can I get a what what?
Penny: What?
Amy: Close enough. I was just calling to see what you were up to tonight. I thought maybe we could head up Color Me Mine, maybe sneak in some Pinot Gris- what evs.

Sheldon: The answer is cuddly soldiers with big flat noses. Moving on.

Amy: The important thing is I am here for you so we can mutually disparage this unpleasing third party.

Howard: Sheldon, I'm more than smart enough to take your class.
Sheldon: *Laughs* No.

Penny: So you want me to be a teacher's pet?
Bernadette: Couldn't hurt.
Leonard: I don't know. Who here has ever been hurt because they were the teacher's pet?
*Sheldon, Amy, Howard, Leonard and Raj raise their hands*

Sheldon: I'm sensing awkwardness. Am I right?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Swish.