Raj: So I've been trying to come up with a cute couple's nickname for me and Emily. What do you like better "Emipalli" or "Koothrapemily".
Howard: Why is it your last name and her first name?
Raj: Well, her last name is Sweeny, and something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeny.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Sheldon: The correct animal for inter-species super soldier is the koala. You would wind up with an army so cute, it couldn't be attacked.

Sheldon: You shot your spit in my mouth!
Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I can do that again.

Leonard: Sheldon, I promise, your uvula does not have an STD.
Sheldon: Are you sure? It just doesn't feel as innocent as it used to.