Sheldon: Ignore them, Amy. They're just jealous because they'll never have a relationship as good as ours.
Penny: Isn't this when he says "bazooka" or something?

Penny: You guys are going out two nights in a row?
Sheldon: I missed a number of date nights while I was on my train trip, and I'm contractually obligated to make them up under the terms of the relationship agreement.
Penny: That's so hot.
Amy: It's better than hot, it's binding!

Leonard: I've seen you guys ignore each other for hours, doing totally different things.
Sheldon: It's called parallel play.
Leonard: Yeah, toddlers do that.
Sheldon: Not as well as we do.

Amy: After a lively debate, that motion passed by a 2-0 margin.
Leonard: It's nice to see a busy couple keep the spark of bureaucracy alive.

Howard: There's no way this is sixty feet.
Bernadette: I'm looking at it!
Howard: You realize this isn't one of those times I want you to exaggerate how long something is.

Raj: So you never played baseball as a kid? Not even little league?
Howard: Well, I was going to but the day of tryouts I found my dad's Playboy collection. Threw my arm out.

Amy: Here they go fighting again. You'd never hear her talk that way to sauvignon blanc.

Penny: Well, a relationship is more complicated than a french fry.
Sheldon: Not according to the work of Berscheid, Snyder & Omoto.
Penny: Oh, what did those rascals do now?

Raj: I love how they put a waterfall at centerfield. It really ties the whole stadium together.
Penny: Look at you talking sports.

Sheldon: If you've got a problem basing a relationship on a contract, I'd like to tell you about thirteen plucky colonies that entered a relationship agreement called the U.S. constitution. And it may not be cool to say so, but I think that love affair's still pretty hot today.

Amy: It would make me so happy if you said things like that.
Sheldon: We got an 8.2. Trust me, you're happy.

Raj: You suck, Wolowitz!
Sheldon: He makes a valid point!

Amy: So when you guys plan on getting married?
Penny: We're not sure, but I wanna wait long enough to prove to my mother I'm not pregnant.

Bernadette: It's not that hard. You just look to where you want to throw it, step towards where you want to throw, and throw it.
Howard: That's your help? That's like saying "Here's how you fly a plane: get in the airplane and know where you want to go, and fly it."

Penny: Hey, what's going on?
Leonard: Baseball.
Penny: Okay, that's not what I meant when I said go outside and play.

Raj: You suck, Wolowitz!
Howard: What's that about?
Raj: I'm heckling you. It's a beloved part of baseball.
Sheldon: He's right. And given that you're probably still waiting to be picked for a game that was played in fifth grade, I'm sure you do suck.

Sheldon: It's like when I thought there was possum in my closet. Did I sit around wondering? No, I sent Leonard in with a pointy stick and a bag.
Leonard: I killed his chewbacca slippers.

Amy: It's a good thing I'm not wearing flag underwear right now, cause there's about to be a fire.

Penny: Well, that's not good. You being blindly infatuated with me was the rock we were building this relationship on.