Howard: You know, when I was a kid I loved going there but I could never get a ride.
Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around, and picked kids up?
Sheldon: Nice! Like at parks and schools.
Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows.
Leonard: Hold on, so your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Sheldon: Yes!
Leonard: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Erm, okay, I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes and he's taking his pants off.

Amy: Can you see how a grown man and accomplished scientist who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
Sheldon: Great! Wait until you hear about our van.

Leonard: Will you stay out of this?
Sheldon: If only Penny had said that once in a while.

Raj: I'm not the kind of guy who drops his friends because he's in a relationship.
Leonard: What happens if she doesn't like us?
Raj: Hey, you're my dear friends. You'll get a Christmas card for a couple of years and then you're dead to me.

Leonard: Do you know how Penny told Raj he should have left her off his list.
Howard: Yeah.
Leonard: Do you think when she and I had that conversation she left people off her list?
Sheldon: I'm sure she did.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Because if she hadn't, she'd still be wading through the list.

Leonard: Wow, Raj, you were not lying about her.
Raj: I told you she exists!

Raj: You guys kiss and hold hands.
Leonard: I've seen him do it. It's not romantic.

Howard: Yeah, I wish Stuart would reopen, I hate this place, too.
Leonard: Okay, him I believe because he's an eighty-year-old man in a fifteen-year-old's t-shirt. You're just upset about Stuart, your mom and all their HBOs.

Raj: It's true. You're both gorgeous. Kinda says something about the man who could bed you both. *Laughs* (To Emily) You get why I've been alone most of my adult life?

Penny: You told Emily we hooked up?
Raj: Well, in my defense, I tell everybody.

Bernadette: Did she say she didn't like you?
Penny: Of course not. Nobody ever says they don't like you straight to your face.
Amy: Heh, we have led different lives!

Howard: Since when do you read social science?
Sheldon: I go to the bathroom like everybody else.

Emily: I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
Sheldon: Oh, I like their emergency room. You know, even if it turns out you don't have Dengue Fever, they still let you take a lollipop.

Bernadette: Fine, what is it?
Howard: It's to help re-open the Comic Book Store.
Bernadette: Nope.