Howard: Yeah, I wish Stuart would reopen, I hate this place, too.
Leonard: Okay, him I believe because he's an eighty-year-old man in a fifteen-year-old's t-shirt. You're just upset about Stuart, your mom and all their HBOs.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Howard: You know, when I was a kid I loved going there but I could never get a ride.
Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around, and picked kids up?
Sheldon: Nice! Like at parks and schools.
Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows.
Leonard: Hold on, so your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Sheldon: Yes!
Leonard: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Erm, okay, I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes and he's taking his pants off.

Amy: Can you see how a grown man and accomplished scientist who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
Sheldon: Great! Wait until you hear about our van.