Bernadette: Still, I can't believe you can turn ordinary skin cells into functioning brain cells.
Amy: Well, I turned this one into a functioning boyfriend, so sky's the limit.

Raj: Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner-time, do you enjoy eating food?

Raj: Well, I can't eat like a ten-year-old all the time.
Penny: You're dating somebody! Who is it?
Raj: What? What are you talking about?
Penny: You only watch what you eat when you're afraid you might have to take your shirt off.

Sheldon: And you realize what the next step is?
Amy: Set up a second culture and try to replicate our results.
Sheldon: Uh, no. We lock that door, lower our underpants a little, and make a baby.

Penny: Could you two really have some sort of super-intelligent child?
Amy: Well, there is a genetic component, but that doesn't guarantee anything.
Leonard: That's true. Sheldon's father once picked a fight with a cactus.
Penny: Yeah, but that's just his Earth parents. We don't know anything about the ones that sent him here.
Leonard: Well, we know they were smart enough to send him away.

Amy: Sheldon, that's enough.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah, no, fine. Let's just agree that both creations are special in their own way and it is foolish to try and compare them. Although, we didn't need to have sex with Howard for ours, so we win.

Sheldon: Yeah, I have to say, it is nice to share this experience with someone who's on the same journey. Although right now ours is testing off the charts while yours is floating around in its own waste.
Bernadette: Are you actually comparing my human baby to your brain in a bowl?
Sheldon: Well, I didn't make you waddle up four flights of stairs for the heck of it.
Bernadette: You do realize my baby has functioning organs and can recognize voices.
Sheldon: Yeah, but ours can recognize a specific data stream among background noise.
Bernadette: Mine has a fully developed immune system.
Sheldon: Ours doesn't need an immune system because it lives in a state-of-the-art German incubator.

Sheldon: How much will it hurt?
Amy: It's just a tiny skin sample. You saw me do it to myself.
Sheldon: On a scale of one to ten, where one is a pebble in your shoe and ten is the monkey you thought was your pet biting your face off.
Amy: A two.
Sheldon: Eating a whole Altoid?

Penny: How come you never eat broccoli?
Leonard: I'm married, I don't have to be attractive.

Raj: Oh my god, I just got it. Fun onions. Funyuns. Hahahaha!

Amy: Sheldon, I'm not ready to have a baby.
Sheldon: Oh, yes, you are! I track your cycle. For the next 36 hours you're as fertile as a manure-covered wheat field.
Amy: Wow. I can actually feel the egg crawling its way back up.

Sheldon: Amy, I didn't want it to come to this. But you have left me no choice but to employ the most passionate, seductive dance known to man. The flamenco.
*Sheldon dancing*
Amy: For God's sake, you're ridiculous.
*Amy leaves the apartment*
Sheldon: (To Leonard and Penny) You guys are aroused, right?

Issabella: This Sunday night, you may take me to dinner at a nice restaurant.
Raj: Great. Where would you like to go?
Issabella: Your choice. It can be Pakistani food, if you like.
Raj: Excuse me, but I'm Indian.
Issabella: And now you know how it feels.

Raj: What do you say? Let me make it up to you.
Issabella: You're very persistent.
Raj: It's my one move.

Amy: Sheldon, please stop trying to seduce me.
Sheldon: Who's trying to seduce you? After a long day I always turn on smooth jazz and spray deer musk on my inner thighs.
Amy: I thought it smelled like a petting zoo in here.
Sheldon: Anything you'd like to pet? Bu-, but not my hair. There's a lot of goop in it.

Amy: Hey, you're talking about the person I love and have been avoiding for the past three hours.

Leonard: Why does he need a baby? He's already hairless and smells like talcum powder.

Amy: Make a baby? What are you talking about?
Sheldon: Clearly the combination of our DNA is exceptional. Our child could be the next step in the evolution of mankind. We we'll be able to get into any preschool we want!

Sheldon: Would you look at that? The image we gave it was 45% white noise, and it still managed to reconstruct it.
Amy: I've never seen results like this before.
Sheldon: Yeah, we need to stop for magnets on the way home; this is going right on the fridge.

Raj: So, forgive me forgive me for being nosy, but is there a wedding ring under those pretty rubber gloves?
Issabella: No, not for many years.
Raj: Oh, so, you are unencumbered?
Issabella: Just me and my son.
Raj: I love kids, how old is he?
Issabella: Nineteen.
Raj: That's a cute age. They can do so many things.

Raj: This is fun. I have never cleaned a toilet before.
Issabella: You're kidding.
Raj: No, I grew up with a house full of servants and now I have a cleaning lady ... who is a lovely woman who I have great respect for.
Issabella: It's okay, you're allowed to have a cleaning lady.
Raj: Oh, good, because she also walks my dog, buys my groceries and cuts my hair.
Issabella: I think that's called a mommy.

Amy: Sheldon, this is a rudimentary collection of neurons. I mean, it's remarkable, but it's still limited in what it can do.
Sheldon: I understand. (Talking to the petri dish of brain cells) She's the mean one, I'm the fun one.

Raj: It's a gravitational wobble. It could be a sign of an extrasolar planet that may contain life and someday be named after me.
Issabella: Oh well, if it has life, maybe it already has a name, huh?
Raj: Yeah, but it's probably difficult to pronounce.
Issabella: What is your name?
Raj: Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali.
Issabella: You think it would be more difficult than that?
Raj: Good point.

Sheldon: Oh, my goodness! I see quivering black lines. Those must be neurons. Oh, they're so thick and beautiful.
Amy: Those are your eyelashes. Move!

Sheldon: Hey, when can we start running tests on it?
Amy: No reason we can't start right now.
Sheldon: What stimulus should we introduce it to first? Light, sound, temperature? Ooh! Ooh! Let's expose it to images of me and you and see who it likes better.

Sheldon: Look, look here I am standing next to the incubator. Uh, here is a microscopic view of the cells.
Bernadette: Look at that. Put them in a tiny Flash T-shirt and it's you.

Sheldon: Yeah, this little guy can already recognize electronically transmitted images 20% faster than any other sample in Amy's lab.
Bernadette: I'm running out of ways to act excited.

Howard: Huh, they screwed up and gave us steamed broccoli.
Raj: Oh, no, that's mine.
Leonard: Really? The last green thing I saw you eat was a Skittle.

Howard: No, she's right. As long as I've known you, you've always been self-conscious about your cleavage.
Raj: It's because you keep trying to stick pencils in it.

Sheldon: Hey, where are you going? Did you even look at my bottom?

Raj: We're in the telescope room! It'll be like dining under the stars. You see this, uh, double zero? When it says "01" that means it's twinkling. ... Sometimes it takes a while.

Raj: I tried to cook you a meal from your homeland.
Issabella: Oh, really? You made Cuban food?
Raj: That depends. Do they have Mexican food in Cuba?

Penny: Now, when he said "make a baby" is it possible he meant out of Legos?
Amy: No. He was explicit. Needlessly and freakishly explicit.

Amy: So, enough about us, how are things going with you?
Bernadette: Great, the doctor said the baby's head is facing down now.
Amy: Good, you know, in case the exit isn't clearly marked.

Sheldon: Would you care for a brandy?
Amy: I don't think so.
Sheldon: Good choice. It's disgusting.

Issabella: Good night, Rajesh.
Raj: Okay, I'll leave. But just know, every time I come in here, I'll be thinking of you.

(Amy, Leonard and Penny reach the fourth floor and discover Sheldon has laid out rose petals leading to the door of Apartment 4B)
Amy: Aww, man!
Penny: Ooh! Sheldon gonna get some.
Leonard: Well, have fun with whatever nightmare's behind door number two.

Amy: Well, Sheldon I see astrocytes. Our combined skin cells are now a primitive neural network.
Sheldon: I have such a profound sense of creation. I jus- It's like when I hatched Sea-Monkeys, except that this is from my DNA, so this is like Me-Monkeys.
Amy: These cells come from both of us.
Sheldon: Yeah, but Us-Monkeys doesn't pop. Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait! We-Monkeys. There you go.

Raj: So, um, what surprised you the most when you first came to America?
Issabella: Well, I suppose how much people care about Oprah's favorite things.
Raj: I thought that, too. But then I got my first waffle maker and never questioned her again.

Raj: Issabella! Issabella, wait, wait, let me explain.
Issabella: If you are embarrassed by what I do, why did you pursue me?
Raj: I'm sorry. Honestly, I didn't think your job would bother me, but I guess it did. And I hate myself for that. But there's a lot of things about me that would totally embarrass you.
Issabella: I doubt that.
Raj: Well, prepare to be mortified. I let my dog eat food out of my mouth, not because she likes it but because I do. Also, I know they're pretty, but I'm scared of butterflies.

Issabella: You know, I have to say, based on the candy wrappers and the bags of junk food I see in this trash, I thought the person working here was ten years old.
Raj: Oh, please, show me a ten-year-old who knows to dip Tootsie Rolls in Nutella.