Bernadette: Why do you want to ride that stupid thing anyway?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe I just miss the freedom I had as a younger man.
Bernadette: What freedom? You lived with your mother. You had a curfew.

Howard: This is a twist. Usually you're the one getting called into H.R.
Raj: Yeah, now it's Amy. Who knew you were married to such a bad girl.
Sheldon: I suppose the signs were always there. I mean, she did recently go to that rave at the mall.
Amy: It was a Spencer's Gifts.
Sheldon: There was music and a strobe light. If that isn't a rave, then I don't know what one is.
Leonard: You don't know what one is.

Amy: Guys, come on, I think I'm in trouble.
Howard: It's no big deal. I used to get called into H.R. all the time. Ms. Davis is great. Pro tip: if you find strong women sexy, do not say it out loud.

Ms. Davis: Thank you both for coming. President Siebert asked that I be a part of this conversation to help us calmly discuss what went wrong and how we can better move forward. We are not here to point fingers, so, Dr. Cooper, please stop that.

Amy: I-I'm sorry. I-I just-- I-I snapped.
President Siebert: Oh, you're sorry! It's all better then! Listen up, you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize, and you're blowing it.
Ms. Davis: I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize and you're blowing it.
Sheldon: Uh, that's exactly what he said.
Ms. Davis: Yes, but I said it in my calming H.R. voice.

Sheldon: [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty, Little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, Purr, purr, purr.
Amy: That helps.
Sheldon: Shh, I'm singing.

Penny: Sweetie, you just need to relax. You know what I like to do?
Sheldon: Numb your brain with alcohol and watch a reality show where wealthy people pick fake arguments with each other?
Penny: Hey, don't knock it until you've wasted a couple hundred hours of your life.

Amy: Sheldon, look at this.
Sheldon: Wait a minute. How do I know this isn't one of those joke phones that squirts water in my face?
Amy: Because that's not even a thing.

Raj: Relax. You're probably just gonna get a slap on the wrist.
Howard: Maybe, but do not ask for that, on the wrist or anywhere else.

Ms. Davis: I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that this is a setback and we should adopt a different strategy.
President Siebert: Like maybe you two keep your traps shut.
Sheldon: "Traps." That's a fun old word. Where's that been?

President Siebert: So, the next words out of your mouth should be on a stage in Stockholm when you're saying "Tack för denna ära" which is Swedish for, "Thank you for this honor."
Sheldon: Jag visste att, which is Swedish for, "I knew that."

Leonard: Oh, uh, how about a sensory deprivation tank?
Amy: Oh, that's interesting. It's supposed to be very calming. Floating in a warm pool of liquid in a dark, soundless space.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't know how I feel about being deprived of all my senses.
Leonard: What are you talking about? All you ever do is complain about how things smell, feel and sound.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm right here. Why are you shouting?

Amy: What do you say? We could both use a break. Come on, I'll do it with you.
Sheldon: Okay, but not in the same tank. I already shared a uterus with my twin sister. I don't need to go through that again.

Bebe: Okay, just a heads up. People have different experiences in the tanks. Uh, some people experience perfect calm. Some people sleep. Some people even reported having visions. But if at any time you feel uncomfortable, just press the panic button and say, "Bebe."
Sheldon: [laughs] That's a stupid word.
Bebe: That's my name.
Penny: What do we push if we feel uncomfortable?

Amy: Shall we?
Sheldon: One second. Is the pH between 7.2 and 7.8?
Bebe: Yes.
Sheldon: Is the water drained and replaced after each use?
Bebe: Yes.
Sheldon: Is the saline level 30%?
Bebe: Yes.
Sheldon: Does your filtration system use ultraviolet light to kill bacteria?
Bebe: Yes.
Sheldon: I don't need to get in. I'm relaxed already.