Howard: What, I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: Id like to weigh in here: No.

Sheldon: Good morning everyone and welcome to "Science and Society". I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, PhD and ScD. OMG, right?

Amy: Are you in the lanthanide series?
Sheldon: Amy, it's Penny's turn. Penny.
Penny: Uh, I dunno. Are you food?
Sheldon: That's not a apropos! We've already established I'm found on the Periodic Table.
Penny: Well, it's a table, right? I mean, why can't there be food on it?
Sheldon: I knew she wasn't lead car material.

Sheldon: I need to sleep here tonight.
Raj: Why?
Sheldon: Howard is a total ass, Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Raj: Okay, come in.

Sheldon: Radio contact is sufficient. No need to extend your middle finger.

Leonard: (To Raj) No, we don't want to watch Bridget Jones' Diary.

Amy: Travel makes me constipated so I am the ideal hotel roommate.

Sheldon: We have seven people and two cars. In the lead car, driven by Leonard, will be myself, Amy Farrah Fowler and Penny.
Amy: Yes! He had you in the other car, but I got you upgraded.
Penny: Yay.
Sheldon: She made the case that if we break down in the middle of nowhere, your Nebraska backwoods skills and brawny hands will give us the best chance to survive in the wild.
Penny: Brawny?
Leonard: They're bigger than mine.

Raj: These mimosas are kicking my little brown ass!

Sheldon: Raj! What are you doing?
Raj: *raises coffee cup*
Sheldon: I don't think so. You've already had your allotted 6 ounces. The next bathroom break isn't until the Denny's near Bakersfield, which is approximately 2 and a half hours away. Remember people, we're only as strong as our weakest bladder.

Penny: Boy, this is great. I haven't had a vacation in ages.
Sheldon: In order to take a vacation, one first has to work.
Penny: You know, for a smart guy, you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept, don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat.
Amy: That does seem to be a valid principle.

Howard: I just never figured that a guy like me going out with a girl like you would ever have to compete with a guy like that.
Bernadette: Wait a minute, "a girl like me"? What's that mean?
Howard: I'm-I'm--
Bernadette: Are you saying you don't think I'm hot enough to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: No! No, I'm saying exactly the opposite.
Bernadette: I'm too hot to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: Yeah, let's go with that.

Leonard: (To Raj) I'd like to kick your little brown ass.

Penny: Okay. So, the usual, with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.

Leonard: Yeah, that would be a little more like getting into dracula's coffin.