Sheldon: It's not my fault I'm bad at sharing; I skipped kindergarten.

Sheldon: If it's like your 3-D chess game, then you're out of your length, width and depth. Amy, get the Neosporin, somebody just got burned.

Raj: Hey, this pregnancy had an emotionally-needy third wheel way before you came along.

Amy: Look, we can't just throw away Penny's stuff, but we can ask if she wants any of it back.
Sheldon: You know, I wonder how she feels about all this artwork.
Amy: Well, I'm sure she misses this one. I mean, it's the greatest gift I've ever given anybody.
Sheldon: It truly does capture the beauty of your friendship with Penny.
Amy: It may have appreciated in value. The artist killed himself shortly after painting that.

Leonard: You know what? There is one thing I would like.
Sheldon: Yeah, take whatever you want.
Leonard: I would like to keep the official flag of our apartment.
Sheldon: But you don't even like flags.
Leonard: Yeah, I like this one.
Sheldon: But I designed it.
Leonard: But you made me order it because you were "too well-known" in the flag community and they'd jack up the price.
Sheldon: But you don't even understand its symbolism.
Leonard: Oh, I do. The-the field of blue represents you being miserable, and the lion sticking its tongue out means I'm happy about it.

Leonard: Sheldon, I know what you did, now change the password back.
Sheldon: Well, powder me in sugar and call me a donut, if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.

Leonard: Hello?
Theodore: Hey, how you doing?
Leonard: Uh, can I help you?
Theodore: I don't think so, but you're sweet for asking.
Penny: What-What are you doing in our apartment?
Theodore: Oh, I rented a room from your neighbor, the tall guy dressed like a little boy.

Raj: Oh, hey, Bernadette, the swing comes with two different mobiles. The giraffes are pretty cute, what do you think?
Bernadette: Great, go with the giraffes.
Stuart: Although the high contrast of zebra stripes might provide better stimulus for a developing baby.
Bernadette: Yeah, you're probably right, go with the zebras.
Stuart: Good choice, boss.
Raj: At least my nose is naturally brown.

Leonard: Oh, I knew it, Sheldon changed the password.
Penny: Are you sure?
Leonard: Well, the new network name is, "Ha ha ha, now I've got you," so It's either Sheldon or Gargamel from The Smurfs.

Sheldon: Come along, Amy. I know when I'm not wanted.
Amy: I don't think you do, but alright.

Leonard: You're good at revenge; how do we get him back?
Penny: Well, my go-to move is usually sleep with the person's boyfriend, but I kind of feel like I'm already doing that.

Sheldon: He's expecting a newspaper in the morning. Apparently, they still make them.

Leonard: All right, I tried.
Sheldon: "All right, I tried." That should be the title of your autobiography. Ooh, a second-degree burn.

Amy: If we're going to be staying in this apartment, would you be interested in doing a little redecorating?
Sheldon: Oh, actually, I would.
Amy: Great, what'd you have in mind?
Sheldon: Let's take every single thing from the other apartment and put it in here.

Amy: Well, how about we start a little smaller? Like moving the furniture around.
Sheldon: You know, I have always thought that this couch would look fantastic on the curb in front of the building.