Stuart: Why can't there be four wheels?
Raj: Is this what you do when I'm not here, make really good points?
Stuart: Look, just come in and help me build a baby swing.
Raj: Thank you.
Stuart: If you're hungry you can eat your takeout; nobody touched it.

Penny: I think I'm gonna go for a run. You want to come?
Leonard: No, last time that old lady in the park kept screaming, "Watch out, he's right behind you."

Sheldon: So, there are fresh linens on the bed and - Oh. Well, now, I see you've met Theodore. Theodore, these are your new roommates, Leonard and Penny. They're very honest, but I would not leave cash lying around.

Penny: All right, Sheldon, this is over the line.
Sheldon: That's true, but had I done something under the line, there wouldn't be a man in your kitchen who can't produce a single form of ID.
Theodore: Oh, oh, I have a receipt from a blood bank. I'm O-negative.
Sheldon: And now you know as much about him as I do.

Bernadette: Hey, could you please go to the market for me?
Howard: Get Stuart or Raj to do it.
Bernadette: Howie, they've been doing everything for you.
Howard: Mm, I know. It's really making me lose respect for both of them.
Bernadette: Please just go to the store.
Howard: Fine. (shouting) Who wants to drive me to the store?
Raj: (off-screen) Me!
Stuart: (off-screen) I'll do it!
Bernadette: Take Raj. Stuart is supposed to paint my toenails.

Leonard: Uh, Theodore, how long are you planning to stay exactly?
Theodore: Oh, thanks to the coins I found in your couch, a day longer than I thought.

Leonard: Sheldon, get out here!
Sheldon: Will you keep it down? What kind of vengeful bed and breakfast do you think I'm running?

Theodore: Excuse me. It's none of my business, but it sounds like a lot of this anger is coming from love.
Leonard: Yeah, thanks, but nobody asked you.
Theodore: Well, I'm just gonna keep on talking. Seems like, with Sheldon moving out, you're in a new phase of your lives and it's easier to fight than to face the feelings that you have for one another.
Amy: I think he might be right. Also, who is that?

Sheldon: I have to admit, leaving you to move in with Amy has been harder than I thought it would be.
Leonard: Well, for me, too. It's not the same with you gone.
Theodore: If you're looking for a new guy to live with-
Leonard: No!
Penny: We're good. Thank you.

Howard: Hey, tomorrow who wants to paint the nursery?
Raj: I'll do it.
Stuart: Why do you get to do it? I'm the artist.
Raj: Just because you're starving doesn't make you an artist.
Stuart: Just because I look sickly doesn't mean I'm starving.