Sheldon: Leonard, I would like us to stop fighting about our possessions.
Leonard: Well, I'd like that, too.
Sheldon: In fact, I want you to keep the apartment flag, and I'm not just saying that because it touched your genitals.
Leonard: You promise?
Sheldon: I do. And to show you that there are no hard feelings, I am willing to rub my genitals on it as well.

Theodore: Well if we're rubbing genitals on things, that's where I shine.

Penny: Little lower to the left. A little more.
Leonard: Is it good?
Penny: No, still hideous.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure at some point, we won't even notice it's there.
Penny: Yeah, you'd think that, but after a while it starts showing up in your dreams.

Bernadette: (off-screen) Howard!
Howard: Guys, you heard her, go see what she wants.
Bernadette: (enters the room) I think I'm in labor.
Howard: Oh, oh, okay. Okay, uh, uh, uh, I can do this. We have a plan. Somebody please tell me the plan.
Stuart: I'll get the hospital bag.
Raj: I'll pull the van up.
Stuart: Meet you outside in 2 minutes.
Raj: Team Baby, go!
Howard: I love you.
Bernadette: I love you, too.
Stuart: Are we hugging or having a baby? Let's go!

Sheldon: Oh, now, what about our 3-D chess set?
Leonard: Let me guess, you want it.
Sheldon: Well, no, I just didn't think you'd want a physical reminder of a game you never managed to win. As a kindness, I should probably take all the games.

Amy: I've got the Neosporin. Who got hurt?
Sheldon: It's a good thing you're cute.

Howard: It's like we have a butler. If I had a Batsuit I'd be Bruce Wayne.
Bernadette: You have a Batsuit.
Howard: It's pajamas, there's no cape.

Sheldon: There's hooks in the closet, I can hang it right now.
Penny: Oh, no, no, those hooks are gone.
Sheldon: What happened to them?
Penny: Uh, we ran out of candy on Halloween, I was just giving everything away.

Howard: When would you move in?
Stuart: Well, uh, my car broke down in your driveway, so I'm gonna say now.

Sheldon: Well, Leonard, you know, who should keep this? On the one hand, I love Mr. Spock more than you do. On the other hand, I care more about clocks than you do.
Leonard: So you think you should keep it?
Sheldon: I'll be right across the hall. You'll probably be able to hear it.
Leonard: Keep the clock, Sheldon.
Penny: Thank you.
Amy: Thank you?

Leonard: You know what, Sheldon, take it. In fact, you can have everything. I really don't care.
Sheldon: Are you sure? These items represent our shared times together.
Leonard: Well, now they're yours.
Penny: Leonard.
Leonard: Well, you know what's gonna happen. He's just gonna come up with some reason why everything should be his.
Sheldon: For a man so good at predicting my moves, how come you stink at 3-D chess?

Stuart: No, I needed a place to stay and, with the baby coming, I figured they could use some extra help.
Raj: Okay, cool.
Stuart: Anyway, come on in, dinner's ready.
Raj: Oh, but I bought Chinese takeout.
Stuart: Oh, okay.Well, if Bernadette wants her ankles to swell up even more, she can have that.

Leonard: Is the Wi-Fi working for you?
Penny: Uh, hang on. I don't think so, I'm clicking on "One weird trick for a flat belly," but I'm still seeing "Celebrities who look like their pets".

Raj: So, I was reading how it's a good idea for new parents to take an infant CPR class.
Bernadette: Yeah, we've been meaning to do that.
Stuart: Oh, I know a CPR instructor who'll come to the house.
Howard: That'd be great.
Stuart: I'll give him a call. We met when I was sleeping on the beach and he thought I was dead.

Leonard: I believe that is flag to crotch four, checkmate. Easy-peasy, ooh, so breezy.