Leonard: You know what? There is one thing I would like.
Sheldon: Yeah, take whatever you want.
Leonard: I would like to keep the official flag of our apartment.
Sheldon: But you don't even like flags.
Leonard: Yeah, I like this one.
Sheldon: But I designed it.
Leonard: But you made me order it because you were "too well-known" in the flag community and they'd jack up the price.
Sheldon: But you don't even understand its symbolism.
Leonard: Oh, I do. The-the field of blue represents you being miserable, and the lion sticking its tongue out means I'm happy about it.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Sheldon: It's not my fault I'm bad at sharing; I skipped kindergarten.

Sheldon: If it's like your 3-D chess game, then you're out of your length, width and depth. Amy, get the Neosporin, somebody just got burned.

Raj: Hey, this pregnancy had an emotionally-needy third wheel way before you came along.