Quotes from ‘The Separation Triangulation’

The Separation Triangulation

'The Separation Triangulation' - Season 11, Episode 14

Raj gets caught in the middle of a domestic dispute when he learns the woman he's dating, Nell, is still married to her husband, Oliver. Meanwhile, when Sheldon rents his old room back so he has a place to focus on his work, he annoys Leonard by being the perfect tenant.

Air Date: January 18, 2018.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Look at this cute picture of Halley in the bath.
Leonard: Aw, that's great.
Howard: Want me to send it to you?
Leonard: No, on your phone it's cute, on my phone it's a crime.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: Space is the mirror of the soul. Are we looking beyond, or are we looking within?
Leonard: I'm looking at my shoes. This is making me a little motion sick.

Quote from Howard

Raj: When we gaze out at the immensities of space, we understand them because there are immensities within us as well. I'm Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and thank you for taking a walk with me ... through the stars.
Leonard: That pause gets longer every show.
Howard: I believe ... you're right.

Quote from Raj

Nell: Hey. Can I get a picture with you?
Raj: Absolutely. And if you post it on social media, I suggest the hashtag "Koothra-poet."

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: No, the campus isn't safe at night. There's raccoons and undergrads just walking around like they own the place.

Quote from Raj

Nell: Thank you. The show was great.
Raj: Well, I can't take all the credit. I have pretty good co-stars ... the stars.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Quote from Raj

Nell: Do you say that to everyone?
Raj: Only to beautiful women. And okay women.
Nell: Okay.
Raj: Uh, just to clarify: you're the first kind.

Quote from Leonard

Amy: Oh, Leonard.
Leonard: Sorry, I just, I had to get out of there.
Amy: What did he do now?
Leonard: Nothing. He's being a dream. Don't give me that look. That's how Penny looked at me. I'm not crazy.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Thanks for coming. What did you handsome gentlemen think of the show?
Leonard: Uh, you can turn it off now.
Raj: It's sweet of you to say, but I don't think I can.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Penny and I have the same "You're crazy" look? That's kind of sweet.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Well, since we're sharing pictures, I have one to contribute.
Leonard: Please don't let it be you and your dog in the bathtub.
Raj: It's not. But don't swipe.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I know how to deal with Sheldon being Sheldon, but Sheldon being a-a rational, thoughtful person? I'm clueless. It's like when my mom called last year to sing happy birthday and I-I just threw up.

Quote from Howard

Howard: What are we looking at here?
Raj: Well, that's me and a beautiful woman and my watch showing the time as 2:30 in the morning.
Howard: So, state's "Exhibit A"?

Quote from Howard

Raj: I met her at the planetarium a few days ago, and she invited me out for a drink.
Leonard: Oh, good for you. H-Hey, w-what's the Hindi word for "dog"?
Raj: Kutta.
Leonard: You kutta.
Raj: Bho.n, bho.n. (chuckles) That's Hindi for woof-woof.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I also have a pretty cute picture to share.
Howard: What is that?
Sheldon: An equation. Isn't it perfect? Sometimes I just stare at it, and I think "I can't believe that came out of me."

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know, I also have a date tonight. But don't worry, it's not another woman. It's string theory.
Bho.n, bho.n.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: See, I'm trying this new technique where I imagine how I would feel in someone else's position.
Amy: Y-You mean empathy?
Sheldon: Oh, I thought I came up with it.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Hi.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: What you doing?
Sheldon: Oh, taking another picture with my baby. Look how big he got!

Quote from Raj

Nell: Morning.
Raj: Good morning.
Nell: Aw, you didn't have to cook me breakfast. Well, I wasn't sure how I did last night, and I wanted to finish strong.
Nell: You don't need to worry. Last night was great.
Raj: Ah, well, you say that now, but wait until you taste this.
Nell: Oh, my God, this is amazing.
Raj: Which is why I keep an omelet pan in the trunk of my car.

Quote from Raj

Nell: My husband never cooked for me.
Raj: Oh, uh, y-you were married.
Nell: Yeah. Well, technically, I guess I still am.
Raj: Is that "technically," like, the paperwork hasn't gone through, or "technically," like, he's in the closet watching us right now?

Quote from Raj

Raj: Yeah, do you mind me asking what he does for a living?
Nell: He's a firefighter.
Raj: Oh. Interesting. A potentially jealous man who's handy with an ax. It's-it's okay, though. He's almost had two weeks to cool down.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Okay, the next drug is Romatrol.
Penny: Oh, I know this one. We're actually pushing it really hard. It treats mild dermatitis.
Leonard: Uh, correct. And who can it be prescribed to?
Penny: Adults and children who have absolutely, for sure, stopped growing.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: And what are the side effects?
Penny: Oh, shoot, shoot.
Leonard: Mm, remember the mnemonic.
Penny: Ah. GRAVY, yes. G-R-A-V-Y. Okay, gastric distress, redness, anal leakage, vasculitis and yellow eyes.
Leonard: Oh, uh, so close. It's actually yellow discharge.
Penny: Oh, right. That's why we went with "gravy."

Quote from Penny

Penny: He knows he doesn't live here anymore, right?
Leonard: Maybe he's experiencing memory loss because he took...
Penny: Flaxitrite!
Leonard: Yeah.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Uh, Sheldon, what are you doing?
Sheldon: Oh, I was just checking in on my old room to see what you've done with it.
Penny: Why?
Sheldon: Well, I could use a place to work in the evenings, and-
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, it's just that there's not a lot of space in our apartment-
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Well, and I feel like Amy's been having-
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: And since you're not-
Penny: No.
Sheldon: It's-
Leonard: No.
Penny: (Sheldon starts to speak) No.
Leonard: That is our room now, and we're gonna turn it into a gym.
Sheldon: Do you really expect me to believe that?
Leonard: No.
Penny: No.

Quote from Bernadette

Raj: So I guess what's bugging me is that they only broke up 13 days ago, and now I'm dating her. So, am I, like, the good guy in my movie, or the bad guy in their movie?
Bernadette: Pretty sure you're the weird friend in our movie.

Quote from Howard

Raj: I like her, okay? I just, I-I don't know how I feel about being the third wheel in a relationship.
Howard: Says the guy in my bed with my wife.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Guys, I mean, he's around, okay? He's apparently not happy about the breakup, and based on the sweatpants he left at her place, he's, like, a medium to large man.
Howard: Maybe those are his "after the holiday" pants, like you have.

Quote from Howard

Raj: I mean, do you think it's too soon for her to be dating? If you and Bernadette broke up, like, how long would you wait?
Howard: Oh, well, I don't even want to think-
Bernadette: Eight days.
Howard: What?
Bernadette: Two days to cry. Six days to hit the gym.
Howard: First of all, you already look amazing.
Bernadette: Aw, that's sweet.
Howard: I'm gonna give him an extra day of crying.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: (on the phone) The answer is still no. You can say we wouldn't know you're here, but we'd know. Because you'd be here! (groans)
Penny: So, who was that?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I can't believe you hung up on me!
Leonard: What the hell? What are you doing here?
Sheldon: I am proving you wrong. I've been working back there for hours. You had no idea.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay, look, you have an office at work. Why don't you go there?
Sheldon: I can't go to the office every time I have a brilliant thought. I'd basically be living there.
Leonard: Sounds good, do that.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: I need somewhere to work in the evenings. You have a space you aren't using. Just take a look at my proposal.
Penny: (groans) What is this?
Sheldon: A rental agreement. I will only use the room for work. I won't sleep here, I won't eat your food, I won't even use your bathroom.
Leonard: So you can just walk in any time of the day or night?
Penny: Well, he does that now. At least this way we'll get paid.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I am Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and thank you for taking a walk with me ... ... through the stars.
Howard: I-I think that one was too long.
Raj: Yeah, you're right. I totally felt it.

Raj: Can I help you?
Oliver: Which one of you is Rajesh Koothrappali?
Howard: Really? You're not sure which one of us is Rajesh Koothrappali?
Oliver: I am. I was just trying not to be racist.

Quote from Raj

Raj: It's gonna be okay.
Oliver: How is it gonna be okay? You're sleeping with my wife.
Raj: I mean, besides that.

Quote from Raj

Oliver: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I guess I just wanted to see who she replaced me with.
Raj: Don't say that. What you two had was special. No one can replace you.
Oliver: Did she say that?
Raj: No.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Look, if it makes you feel any better, I barely know her.
Oliver: And she had sex with you?
Raj: Nell tells me you're a fireman. What's that like?

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Okay, I'm really uncomfortable with him back in that room.
Penny: Why? He hasn't made a peep all day.
Leonard: You don't get it. All the years that we lived together, he drove me crazy the whole time.
Penny: And now he's not.
Leonard: Exactly. Don't look at me like that. It-it-it means he did it on purpose. It was a choice. That-That's like finding out Godzilla could've had Arby's instead of Tokyo.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Am I being too loud?
Leonard: No, you're being perfect and you know it.
Sheldon: Would you like me to be a less considerate tenant?
Leonard: No. Yes. What? Stop messing with me!

Quote from Raj

Raj: He was best friends with her older brother, but he didn't even notice her. And then years afterward, they randomly bumped into each other at the DMV. Two hours later, they were in love. You can really see the sparkle in his license photo.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: He told you all this at the planetarium?
Raj: No, no, we went to House of Pies. He got banana cream. I got coconut. We did halfsies.
Howard: You did pie halfsies with another man?
Bernadette: You mean other than you?
Howard: Yeah.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I feel bad for him, Bernie. He's a, he's a good guy.
Bernadette: Well, if you're uncomfortable with it, maybe stop sleeping with his wife.
Raj: I don't think the sex is the problem. I know for a fact I was just okay.

Quote from Howard

Howard: For the record, I'm the one who introduced you to House of Pies.

Quote from Leonard

Amy: Well, if it gets to be too much, you can always send him back over here.
Leonard: I made a deal with him, and besides, that wouldn't be fair to you.
Amy: Well, actually, I miss him. He's been over there a lot.
Leonard: Well, great. Tell him he can come back.
Amy: I can't. He's thinking of me and my feelings and trying to be respectful.
Leonard: That's what he's doing to me, too, the jerk!

Quote from Amy

Leonard: Stop that!
Amy: Hey, your mad look and Sheldon's constipated look are the same.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Sorry, I can't do this.
Nell: What's going on?
Raj: I met Oliver the other day.
Nell: Wait, you tracked down my husband?
Raj: No, that would be weird. He tracked me down, then we spent the evening together.

Quote from Raj

Nell: You're crazier than he is.
Raj: I'll tell you what, just give him one more chance and if it doesn't work out, I'll be happy to keep sleeping with you.
Nell: You would?
Raj: Either way, you've got yourself a fella. Like, how nice is that?

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey. So, your contract provides for a three-day trial period, and I don't think this is working out. So, to put it in legal terms, the party of the first part would like the party of the second part to get out.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What time does the trial period end?
Leonard: 12:00, noon.
Sheldon: Yeah, what does it say after that?
Leonard: Eastern Standard Time.
Sheldon: That was three hours ago. And, uh, since you didn't exercise your right to revoke, I exercised my right to extend, triggering this long-form rental agreement of which you're already in violation.
Leonard: This is just a-a bunch of paper. You can't enforce this.
Sheldon: Hire a lawyer. Let's find out.
Leonard: This is not happening.
Sheldon: Be that as it may, page nine says that you have to provide me with lemon-flavored sparkling waters, so chop-chop.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Hey, how'd it go?
Leonard: Well, apparently he's not leaving and I have to go get him sparkling water.
Penny: Why are you smiling?
Leonard: I don't know. It just feels right.

Quote from Raj

Oliver: Hey, buddy. I talked to Nell. She was pretty upset after you left.
Raj: Yeah, I'm sorry.
Oliver: No. No, no, no. She told me that you said something so creepy that I seemed great in comparison.
Raj: I know exactly what it was. No, actually, there was a couple of things it could've been. Whichever one it was, it was creepy.

Quote from Raj

Oliver: Anyway, uh, I went over to comfort her, and we talked, and I think we're gonna give it another chance.
Raj: I am so happy for you! Hey, uh, we should celebrate.
Oliver: House of Pies?
Raj: You know it.
Oliver: Should we invite Nell?
Raj: Do we have to?
Oliver: Nah.