Rajesh: Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Rajesh: Yes, well, we Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.

Howard: Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
Leonard: Howard!
Howard: I know! I'm disgusting. I should be punished. By her. Oh, look I did it again.

Sheldon: Eat this slice of cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.

Wolowitz: Is it 'cause I'm Jewish, 'cause I’d kill my Rabbi with a porkchop to be with your sister.

Sheldon: You're out, too, by the way.
Leonard: Say what?
Sheldon: It's nothing personal, I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent every time they eat an Eskimo pie.

Sheldon: Why does everyone suddenly wanna talk to me alone? Usually nobody wants to be alone with me.

Leonard: On the other hand, some physicists are concerned that if the supercollider actually works, it'll create a black hole and swallow up the Earth, ending life as we know it.
Raj: What a bunch of crybabies. No guts, no glory, man.

Raj: (Reading Bulletin) We are testing a new medication for social anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Why would they be looking for test subjects here?
Leonard: I don't know, Raj, maybe the comic store doesn't have a bulletin board.

Howard: You've already got Penny?
Leonard: How do I have Penny? In what universe do I have Penny?
Howard: So I can have Penny?
Leonard: Hell, no!

Sheldon: Tell Mom that I currently weigh 165 pounds and that I'm having regular bowel movements.

Sheldon: I'm a superior genetic mutation, an improvement on the existing mediocre stock.
Missy: And what do you mean "mediocre stock"?!
Sheldon: That would be you.

Raj: (Mocking Howard) Ooh! Look at me, I don't have a foreskin!

Raj: (Strangling Howard) I am Shiva the Destroyer, I will have the woman.
Howard: I'm warning you, I took Judo at math camp.

Sheldon: Why don't you tell them I take tolls at the Golden Gate Bridge? A Rocket Scientist, how humiliating!

Missy: (Talking to the guys) He was trying to build some sort of armed robot to keep me out of his room.
Sheldon: Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room.