Raj: (Mocking Howard) Ooh! Look at me, I don't have a foreskin!

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Rajesh: Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Rajesh: Yes, well, we Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.

Howard: Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
Leonard: Howard!
Howard: I know! I'm disgusting. I should be punished. By her. Oh, look I did it again.

Sheldon: Eat this slice of cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.