Wolowitz: Is it 'cause I'm Jewish, 'cause I’d kill my Rabbi with a porkchop to be with your sister.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Rajesh: Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Rajesh: Yes, well, we Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.

Howard: Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
Leonard: Howard!
Howard: I know! I'm disgusting. I should be punished. By her. Oh, look I did it again.

Sheldon: Eat this slice of cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.