Quotes from ‘The Allowance Evaporation’

The Allowance Evaporation

'The Allowance Evaporation' - Season 10, Episode 16

When Amy finds out that Sheldon has been sharing personal details of their relationship at work, they have their first fight as a cohabiting couple. Meanwhile, Raj†is hurt when his father stops trying to fix him up with somebody, claiming that Raj†is too spoiled to be attractive to somebody.

Air Date: February 16, 2017.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What is this?
Sheldon: I'm mapping basic topics of conversation and with whom they can be discussed.
I call these circles "Zones of Privacy". Don't Google that unless you want to see pictures of people's genitals.

Quote from Bert

Bert: I met her on G-Harmony. That's a Web site for geologists to find love.
Amy: That's a real thing?
Bert: Yeah. Their slogan is "We're all about dating and not the carbon-14 kind".

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: When you moved here, you didn't have a lot of money. How'd you get by?
Penny: Well, sometimes you can get free food and Wi-Fi from the neighbors. Just know you might have to marry one of 'em.

Quote from Dr. Koothrappali

Dr. Koothrappali: You're an adult who can't get by without an allowance from his parents. Women don't want that.
Raj: What are you saying, that you're giving up on me? What kind of father gives up on his son?
Dr. Koothrappali: I have six children, five of whom are married and self-sufficient. I don't think I'm the problem.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Two years ago I got my driver's license.
Amy: What? Why didn't you say anything?!
Sheldon: I like being chauffeured around. It makes me feel important.
Amy: So when I got up at 4:00 AM to drive you across the desert to an antique train museum, I didn't have to?
Sheldon: No, you didn't. But keep in mind, I felt extremely important.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, wait. This is our first fight as a couple who live together.
Amy: So?
Sheldon: I'm not sure of the protocol. Television teaches us that the man's supposed to sleep on the couch, but of the two of us, you're clearly more sofa-sized.
Amy: I'm not sleeping on the couch 'cause you don't know what's private and what's not.

Quote from Penny

Penny: What is happening?
Leonard: This is an Euler's Disk. It's a physics toy that demonstrates angular momentum, potential energy, and kinetic energy.
Penny: Aw, look at you watching sports.

Quote from Dr. Koothrappali

Raj: Uh, listen, I just wanted to let you know when you get my credit card bill, it might be a little high this month.
Dr. Koothrappali: Well, you're a grown man with a steady job. Why wouldn't you spend all your father's money?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: If you think that's more fun than talking to Zachary Quinto through a stall door, you're crazy.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: You know, we could've come to you guys. You didn't have to bring the baby here.
Bernadette: Oh, it's okay. It's good to get out of the house.
Howard: And the car ride puts her to sleep.
Leonard: Aw, that used to work with Sheldon.
Penny: Yeah, until someone left him in the drugstore parking lot and he freaked out.
Leonard: Who forgot to crack the window?

Quote from Howard

Penny: Oh, someone's been shopping at Gucci.
Raj: Yeah, I saw something for Halley and I couldn't resist.
Bernadette: That's so sweet of you.
Raj: Yeah, it's a crushed velvet baby cape.
Howard: Oh, no, now we have two.

Quote from Penny

Penny: That must've been expensive.
Raj: Yeah, it was. But it's my father's money and I'm mad at him.
Leonard: What's going on with your dad?
Penny: And if you really want to hurt him, I look great in Chanel.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: MSN Search, AltaVista, and Ask Jeeves. You?
Amy: Sorry, I don't have a list of defunct search engines that I miss.

Quote from Bert

Bert: Hey. Looks like I got stood up, so I'm gonna head out.
Amy: Oh, no. Are you sure you don't want to give her a few more minutes?
Bert: Nah, G-Harmony recommends after two hours, it's time to cut bait.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, that was so sweet of you.
Sheldon: Well, I could deduce by his facial expression and body language that he was sad.
Amy: So the part where he got stood up didn't clue you in?
Sheldon: You want me to look at him and listen to him?

Quote from Leonard

Raj: My father thinks the reason I can't make a relationship work is because I'm spoiled.
(Everybody is quiet, looking sheepishly away from Raj)
Leonard: I'm sorry, is he waiting for someone to disagree?

Quote from Bert

Bert: Good question. Let's see. Infoseek, WebCrawler, oh, HotBot.

Quote from Raj

Howard: You don't need your dad's money. You can get by on your salary.
Leonard: Yeah. Well, we work at the same place as you, and we've always been fine.
Raj: Oh, please. Look in the mirror. You both look ten years older than I do.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Hey, you guys let Stuart live with you. Why not Raj, too?
Howard: What-what are you doing? I-I-I schlepped the baby over, I brought imported beer. Why don't you like me?

Quote from Bernadette

Raj: I thought we were best friends!
Howard: We are! That's why I'm sad my best friend's gonna be homeless.
Bernadette: I'm sorry, Raj. We really just don't have the space.
Leonard: What if he lives in your garage?
Bernadette: What if you stop helping?!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This circle contains only me and you. It represents subjects we only share with each other. Details of physical intimacy, bathroom habits. Although, as I'm saying it, I may need to add Dr. Fink in here.

Quote from Dr. Koothrappali

Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, no, my grown son is going to stop spending all my money. Where did I fail as a father?!
Raj: Yeah, that's right. Keep asking yourself that! But I still love you very much, so don't cut me out of the will.

Quote from Bert

Bert: Well, I really envy your relationship. Other than you two only having sex once a year, you're the perfect couple.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Actually, we met online. Our first date was at a coffee shop.
Sheldon: Although, unlike your date, she actually showed up. Oh, he looks sad again.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: We should go say hi.
Sheldon: Why?
Amy: Because that's what you do when you see someone you know in a public place.
Sheldon: I have multiple restraining orders that say otherwise.
Amy: Sheldon, there's a difference between greeting a friend and following a celebrity into a bathroom.
Sheldon: If the judge couldn't explain it to me, I don't see how you will.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: We're betting to see if Koothrappali can hold his breath longer than the disk can spin.
Sheldon: Its weight and smoothness, along with the slight concavity of the mirror, means it can spin for a long time.
Leonard: But Raj is from India, which means he's no slouch at holding his breath.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay, I want in. Ten bucks says I'll lose interest before that thing stops spinning.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Hey, Sheldon, I found a great restaurant for date night.
Sheldon: Kind of busy right now.
Amy: Oh, an Euler's Disk! Fun!
Howard: Yeah, we're seeing if Raj can hold his breath longer than it.
Amy: Oh. Immature.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: (To Raj) Dig deep! Like when we bet you couldn't fit into Howard's pants!

Quote from Raj

Raj: Oh, Daddy, you're so rich and funny.

Quote from Raj

Dr. Koothrappali: So what else is going on with your life?
Raj: Uh, well, I was dating a woman at the university, but we broke up.
Dr. Koothrappali: I'm sorry to hear that.
Raj: I know you are. That's why you just bought me a new iPad.

Quote from Dr. Koothrappali

Raj: I can't believe what I'm hearing. This is deeply hurtful.
Dr. Koothrappali: You're also too sensitive. Women don't want that either.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: The food here's supposed to be great. Don't fill up on chips.
Sheldon: Oh, I won't. I have a trick. I only eat equilateral triangles. Isosceles, isosceles, oh, scalene (breaks the corner off a chip and eats it) - You didn't see that.

Quote from Penny

Raj: It turns out he doesn't care if I'm married or if I'm single. He's basically given up on me.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
Raj: It is. He stopped trying to find Indian girls for me to marry.
Leonard: All you did was complain when he did that.
Penny: Leonard, he's hurting. Let him feel how he feels.
Raj: Thank you, Penny.
Penny: Yeah. Shoes, I'm a seven-and-a-half; boots, I'm an eight.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: All right, how much exactly does he pay for?
Raj: Okay, I'll tell you, but please don't judge me. He pays for my car, my rent, and my credit cards.
Leonard: I'm trying, but I'm judging.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: You know about that?
Bert: Uh, yeah, everyone at the university does.
Amy: Were you aware of this?
Sheldon: No. No, I only told Leonard, Howard, Raj, Kripke, uh, Professor Wu, Professor Klein, and a lunch lady in the cafeteria. How everyone else found out is a mystery to me.

Quote from Raj

Penny: All right. Hang on. We can figure this out. Let's just go over your expenses. How much is your rent?
Raj: I don't want to say.
Bernadette: Is it really that high?
Raj: I don't want to say because I don't know how much it is.
Penny: You don't how much your rent is?
Raj: My father pays for it! Do you know how much your rent is?!
Penny: Yeah.
Raj: Well, then double it, because my building's a lot nicer than this dump.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Do you know how much your car costs?
Raj: Not really.
Howard: Well, how much do you spend on food?
Raj: The housekeeper does the shopping.
Bernadette: Oh, my God, you really are spoiled.
Raj: I'm spoiled?! Your baby has a cape that costs $300!

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: I'm not sleeping on the couch 'cause you don't know what's private and what's not.
Sheldon: This isn't fair. You've discussed aspects of our physical relationship with Penny.
Amy: That's different! She's a close friend, not the lady in the cafeteria who cuts the crust off your sandwiches!
Sheldon: That lady has a name. I don't know what it is, but one time, I accidentally called her "Mom".

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Are you really worried about revealing secrets to Stephen Hawking?
Sheldon: No, I was just excited to list him as a friend.

Quote from Raj

Raj: We need to talk.
Dr. Koothrappali: All right.
Raj: I have come to an important decision. I will not be accepting your money any more. I'm a man, and I can take care of myself.
Dr. Koothrappali: That's wonderful!
Raj: Yes, that is wonderful! You will no longer be able to accuse me of being spoiled!
Dr. Koothrappali: I am so proud of you.
Raj: Dad, I'm trying to tell you off, and you're ruining it with your delight and relief.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Excuse me. May I have your attention, please? I have recently been made aware that my personal relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler has become water cooler gossip. And I just want to say, shame on all of you. We're scientists. Our minds should be focused on the advancement of human knowledge, not the intimate details of other people's lives.
Bert: He's right. And I'm sorry for the part I played in this.
Sheldon: Thank you, Bert. You're a good man. That woman who stood you up and humiliated you last night really missed out.
Bert: That doesn't paint me in the best light.
Sheldon: Uh. Oh, I'm sorry. Correction: That woman not only had vigorous coitus with Bert, she also tipped him a dollar for a job well done. That better?
Bert: Not really.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All right, well, to sum up: Focus on science, keep your nose out of other people's business, and, uh, whoa, for a good time, call Bert.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, it's humiliating. Thanks to you, my colleagues are gossiping about our sex life.
Sheldon: What is there to gossip about? We barely have one.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Well, I do appreciate you working on this. I'm sorry you were embarrassed.
Sheldon: And now I understand that some things are just between you and me, and in the event of redness and swelling, Dr. Fink.

Quote from Raj

Raj: This morning, I fired my dog walker.
Howard: Oh. How's the dog gonna go to the bathroom?
Raj: Uh, I gave her an Imodium. That's tomorrow's problem.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: What brought that on?
Sheldon: (sighs) Well, last night Amy was angry with me because I'd been foolishly telling people about certain personal matters.
Howard: That's understandable.
Sheldon: Oh, I know that now. At first, I thought she was cranky because of her horrific menstrual cramps. It turns out, no, she was genuinely mortified.

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