Penny: So what's going on?
Sheldon: I don't know. I looked around the room, and I saw all the faces and the presents, and it it was just too much.
Penny: I get that. Hey, you want to just bring a few people in here? You know, Wil Wheaton in the bathtub, Batman on the toilet. It'll be like the weirdest Comic-Con ever.

Sheldon: I don't think I can go back out there.
Penny: That's fine. You know, I hate that your sister and her friends used to torture you. But what I hate even more is, if I was there, I would have tortured you, too.
Sheldon: Based on this pep talk, I'd say you're still doing it.
Penny: My point is, there was a time I never would've been friends with someone like you, and now you are one of my favorite people. So, if what you need is to spend your birthday in a bathroom, I'm happy to do it with you.
Sheldon: Well, everyone will think I'm weird.
Penny: Sweetie, you are weird. Everyone knows you're weird, but they're all still here because they care about you so much.

Leslie Winkle: Uh, in the past, I would've said something obnoxious, like, "Happy birthday, dumbass". But I'm not gonna do it. You and I have both grown a lot, and it's just so nice to see you all again. So happy birthday, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh. Oh, now, you know I hate change. Say it.
Leslie Winkle: Happy birthday, dumbass!

Amy: We've got someone who couldn't be here but really wanted to wish you a happy birthday.
Stephen Hawking: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: (gasps) Professor Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday to you.
Sheldon: Thank you so much. I can't believe you're-
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday to you.
Sheldon: Oh, you're singing. Well, I'm sorry.
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday, dear Sheldon.
Leonard: Uh, Professor Hawking, if you just give us one second, we'll light the candles, and we can all sing together.
Stephen Hawking: I was crushing it, but all right.

Bernadette: I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said. So, here's to you, Sheldon.
Raj: Hear, hear.
Sheldon: Thank you, Bernadette. That was perfect.
Howard: What? You gotta be kidding me?

Raj: You know, Adam West is my favorite Batman? Well, after Michael Keaton, Christian Bale and Batman from The Lego Movie.
Howard: Don't say that to him.
Raj: What? He beat out George Clooney. And that's something. Like, I love me some Clooney.
Leonard: Don't say that to anyone.

Howard: Really? You're ahead of Bale? The man who personified the words, "I'm Batman."
Adam West: I never had to say I'm Batman. I showed up. People knew I was Batman.
Everywhere I went. On the TV show, mall openings, Julie Newmar's bungalow.
Leonard: I'm sold- you're ahead of Bale.
Adam West: There's another reason I should be higher on the list. All those other guys had muscles built into their costumes. All I had in my Batsuit was 100%, grade-A West.

Leonard: Sheldon, we've been together so long, it's hard to remember a time you weren't in my life. And believe me, I try.
You make me laugh.
You make me a better scientist.
You make me crazy.
You're more than just my roommate, you're my brother.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Leonard: Happy birthday, buddy.

Leonard: Maybe we could get Batman to actually show up.
Raj: You mean, some guy in a lame suit?
Leonard: Or a real Batman. Hey, Stuart? Didn't you try to get Adam West to do a signing here once?
Stuart: Yeah, but there was kind of a scheduling conflict. He, uh, wanted to know when he'd get paid. And I wouldn't tell him.

Leonard: So, Mother, I'm surprised you came all this way for Sheldon's birthday.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, I was happy to. He did come to my 60th.
Leonard: Oh, you had a party for your 60th?
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, I wouldn't call it a party. Just a few close friends. And your sister and brother.
Penny: You know, to be fair, we did get married in Vegas and didn't invite her.
Beverly Hofstadter: And I never did thank you for that, dear.

Sheldon: Wil Wheaton, go.
Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, I know that we've had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say that my life is so much more interesting because you are in it. We may have met because you are a fan of Star Trek. But I have become a fan of Sheldon Cooper. Live long and prosper, buddy. And happy birthday.
Sheldon: That's how you do it, Wolowitz. Now you see why he's famous and you're not.

Penny: Sheldon, can I come in?
Sheldon: How do you know I'm not using the facilities?
Penny: Because you e-mail me your bathroom schedule once a week, even though I've clicked unsubscribe, like, a thousand times.

Amy: So Sheldon, there's something I've been wanting to talk about but I know it's kind of a touchy subject.
Leonard: Way to narrow it down to everything.

Penny: Wait a minute. You mention his birthday and he vanishes?
Leonard: Well, where's that information been this whole time?

Penny: Yeah, what is the problem? Is it about getting older?
Sheldon: Please! Look at this porcelain skin. I'm like a human sink.