Leonard: Hey, uh, you know, he told a sad story about how his sister tricked him into thinking Batman was coming to his party.
Howard: That's funny. Let's do that.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Penny: So what's going on?
Sheldon: I don't know. I looked around the room, and I saw all the faces and the presents, and it it was just too much.
Penny: I get that. Hey, you want to just bring a few people in here? You know, Wil Wheaton in the bathtub, Batman on the toilet. It'll be like the weirdest Comic-Con ever.

Leslie Winkle: Uh, in the past, I would've said something obnoxious, like, "Happy birthday, dumbass". But I'm not gonna do it. You and I have both grown a lot, and it's just so nice to see you all again. So happy birthday, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh. Oh, now, you know I hate change. Say it.
Leslie Winkle: Happy birthday, dumbass!

Amy: We've got someone who couldn't be here but really wanted to wish you a happy birthday.
Stephen Hawking: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: (gasps) Professor Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday to you.
Sheldon: Thank you so much. I can't believe you're-
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday to you.
Sheldon: Oh, you're singing. Well, I'm sorry.
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday, dear Sheldon.
Leonard: Uh, Professor Hawking, if you just give us one second, we'll light the candles, and we can all sing together.
Stephen Hawking: I was crushing it, but all right.