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Beverly Hofstadter Quotes Page 1 of 6

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Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Alfred Hofstadter: I, uh, I would also like to make a toast.
Penny: Aww.
Alfred Hofstadter: Leonard, I am so happy that you have found a woman who loves and cares for you.
Beverly Hofstadter: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Alfred Hofstadter: Why don't you take a pill?
Beverly Hofstadter: Like you did before sex?
Alfred Hofstadter: What I really needed was a blindfold.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Leonard: Well, uh, okay, um, I dont want to get back together with Penny. We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work, but I can't deal with the fact that she slept with my friend Raj. And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya, who I've been going out with for eight months, is moving back to India. So I'm just completely confused and alone.
Beverly Hofstadter: I understand.
Leonard: Got any advice?
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes. Buck up.
Leonard: Excuse me. You're a world-renowned expert in parenting and child development, and all you've got is buck up?
Beverly Hofstadter: Sorry. Buck up, sissy pants.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Mom?
Beverly Hofstadter: I understand you have been whining about my parenting in order to emotionally manipulate your girlfriend.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Beverly Hofstadter: In any event, while I've had my misconceptions about *Penny*, Sheldon spoke very fondly of her. And if she is good enough for him, then she's good enough for me.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects, and don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Beverly: Let's discuss why you continue to involve me in your sex life.
Leonard: Oh, please no mommy. No mommy.
Beverly: When you were six years old, you walked in on me and your father naked. I was swatting his bottom with your brand new ping-pong paddle.
Leonard: I didn't dream that!?
Beverly: How did that make you feel?

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Beverly Hofstadter: If you want to have intercourse with that girl, find out what kind of cologne her father wore.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Combustion

Leonard: Uh, Mom, hey, tell Mary the story about how I made a Van de Graaff generator out of our vacuum cleaner.
Beverly Hofstadter: All right. He broke the vacuum cleaner.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Penny: I'm curious. What was Leonard like when he was little?
Beverly Hofstadter: I think you mean young. He's always been little.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Beverly Hofstadter: Aside from a pro forma consummation of our marriage, his father and I only had intercourse for the purposes of reproduction.
Sheldon: That seems a fairly efficient arrangement.
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes, we think so. We've both done papers on it. Mine from the neuroscientific point of view and his from an anthropological. Mine, of course, was the only one worth reading.
Sheldon: Of course. I would very much like to read about your sex life.
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, it's all online, or you can order it from the Princeton University Press.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Beverly Hofstadter: Well, Leonard's younger brother, Michael, is a tenured law professor at Harvard, and his sister just successfully grew a human pancreas in an adolescent gibbon.
Howard: So, she's close to curing diabetes?
Beverly Hofstadter: Why else would you grow a pancreas in a teenaged gibbon?
Howard: Wow, you must be very proud.
Beverly Hofstadter: Why? They're not my accomplishments. I have to urinate.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: Why didn't you tell me you're tapping my home girl? Did I say that right?

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Penny: So, what did we miss?
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, just Mary and I getting to know each other a little.
Mary Cooper: Leonard, your father is just charming.
Beverly Hofstadter: He's also broke. Did he mention that?

Quote from the episode The VCR Illumination

Beverly Hofstadter: Yes?
Leonard: Hello, Mother.
Penny: Hey, Beverly.
Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Leonard. Hello, Penny. To what do I owe this call?
Leonard: I need your professional advice.
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, I'd love to help you out, dear, but I'm very busy at the moment. Perhaps we can schedule a time next week.
Penny: It's about Sheldon.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, well, I-I suppose I can spare a minute or two.
Leonard: Wh-Why did you just say you're too busy, but-
Beverly Hofstadter: Leonard, please, not everything is about you.

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