Sheldon: Physicist, baker, lover, what can't I do?

Penny: I didn't know you could drink while you were breastfeeding.
Bernadette: Yeah, they say the yeast in beer helps with milk production.
Amy: I'm pretty sure that's a myth. Let me check.
Bernadette: Ruin it for me, and I'll break this glass over your head.

Penny: You want food?
Bernadette: Yeah, breastfeeding burns, like, 5,000 calories a day. (To Amy) Do not touch that phone!

Penny: Uh, what's new?
Zack: Oh, tons of stuff. Put artificial grass in my backyard, got engaged, had a scary mole that turned out to be Sharpie.
Penny: Well, congratulations.
Zack: That's what my dermatologist said.
Penny: No, on getting engaged, good for you.
Zack: Oh, thanks.

Sheldon: I started doing some reading on cognitive vitality, and I came across an area of research called "super-aging."
Raj: You know who's a super-ager? Jennifer Lopez. Like, what is her secret?

Leonard: How is super-aging any different than, like, doing crossword puzzles?
Sheldon: Well, it's not just doing simple cognitive tasks. You need to push your brain out of its comfort zone and reach mental exhaustion.
Leonard: I drive you to work every day, my brain must look like the Hulk.

Penny: Oh, that's a nice offer.
Zack: You know, we'd make a great team. Or as we say in the menu business, I can't do this without Me N U.
Penny: Right, 'cause it spells "menu."
Zack: Yeah, right? It's funny. I got a lot of menu jokes, but that's my favorite.

Penny: See, that wasn't so bad. He even picked up the check.
Leonard: Yeah. Although, when he was trying to figure out the tip, I'm pretty sure I saw smoke coming out of his ears.

Leonard: Don't you think it might be a little weird to work for someone you used to date?
Penny: You work with Sheldon, you tell me.
Leonard: Yeah, it's weird.

Amy: Have you tried letting go of the rope?
Sheldon: What, are you crazy? I'm on a unicycle.
Amy: All right, well, have fun.
Sheldon: Wait, I need help getting down.
Amy: Well, what do you want me to do?
Sheldon: Drag out our mattress and put it over here, then go across the hall, get their mattress and put it over here. But before you do any of that, scratch my nose.

Amy: His mother warned me. Everybody warned me. Actually, he warned me.

Howard: I can't believe you made fun of me all these years while you were a closeted ventriloquist.
Bernadette: Okay, it's not like I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I was in beauty pageants and I needed a talent besides spreading rumors that the other contestants were pregnant.

Amy: Well, clearly mental tasks are not enough. Maybe you need to challenge your motor skills.
Sheldon: For the last time, I am not having a tickle fight with you.

Zack: Do you have a bodyguard to keep spies away?
Leonard: I have Sheldon, that keeps most people away.
Zack: I miss that guy. He's like the Swedish Chef Muppet. I don't know what he's saying, but he's funny.
Leonard: Oh, I know what he's saying, and he's not, he's not funny.

Bernadette: So you wanted to learn something physical and you came to Howard Wolowitz?
Howard: Hey, the circus arts are very physically and mentally demanding. Have you ever tried to juggle?
Bernadette: Yes, I'm juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now.
Howard: And it's hard, isn't it?