Sheldon: What happened to me? I used to excel at these things.
Howard: Kids are always better at video games.
Sheldon: Well, I don't like it.
Leonard: If it makes you feel better, you still dress like a child.

Raj: Well, I know how you feel. I tried one of those electronic Japanese toilets, practically shot myself across the room.

Zack: Penny?
Penny: Oh, Zack. Hey.
Zack: What are the odds of running into you here?
Penny: Well, it's a bar, so pretty good.

Zack: How about you? Hey, how's Leonard? Is he still smart?
Penny: Yes, yes, he's working for the government on an infinite persistence gyroscope. Of course, the first time I say it right, he's not even here.

Howard: Now, this is rare. I don't know which one of you I want to stop talking first.
Sheldon: The theory is that if you really tax your brain, the neurofibers will become thicker and the glial cells more lustrous.
Raj: Like JLo's hair.
Howard: Boy, it is neck and neck right now.

Raj: If you really want to challenge yourself, you could learn to speak Hindi.
Sheldon: Jab mein aat saal ka tha Maine seekha tha.
Raj: Could you say that in English? I actually, I never learned Hindi.

Penny: Hey, you ready to go?
Leonard: Yeah, I guess.
Penny: What's the matter?
Leonard: Honestly? It's a little strange having dinner with your ex-boyfriend, and it's not like we have a lot to talk about.
Penny: What? He loves you, okay? And he's interested in your work. You could talk about the infinite perspective -- I swear I know it.

Raj: You want a real challenge, try keeping me from eating more of these.
Sheldon: You're just using food to mask the fear that you're fundamentally unlovable and therefore going to be alone forever.
Raj: Damn it, he's good at that, too.

Zack: So, Penny, what's going on with you? How's the job?
Penny: Uh, it's okay, I'm still in pharmaceutical sales.
Leonard: She's doing amazing. She can actually make a side effect, like 10% chance of liver failure, sound like a 90% chance of liver success.

Penny: Yeah, lying isn't my favorite part of the job. Actually, I'm not crazy about a lot of it.
Zack: Hey, if you're not happy there, I've been looking for a new head of sales at my company. And we don't sell drugs, just menus, so the only lie you'll be telling is we print on recycled paper. We don't.

Howard: All right, this is everything. What do you want to learn?
Sheldon: It really doesn't matter, as long as it's challenging.
Howard: Okay, well, how about, oh, I teach you some close-up magic.
Sheldon: Howard, I'm trying to make myself uncomfortable, not everyone else.

Bernadette: So you wanted to learn something physical and you came to Howard Wolowitz?

Leonard: You're not really considering working for him, are you?
Penny: Well, maybe, I mean, it seems kind of perfect. I have sales experience, and I've been a waitress, so I have restaurant experience, and if he's figuring out my Christmas bonus, we could buy a boat.

Sheldon: Amy, look, I'm on a unicycle!
Amy: How did you get from croissants to a unicycle?
Sheldon: I hurt myself juggling.

Penny: So he's my ex-boyfriend, who cares? I can't believe Leonard would be so insecure.
Bernadette: Really? I have no trouble believing that at all.
Penny: And Zack's engaged. Leonard has no reason to feel threatened.
Bernadette: We're talking about the same Leonard, right?