Leonard: So you think it's fine if she works for Zack?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe.
Raj: Well, he is much more attractive than Leonard.
Howard: Yes, but that's gonna be true of a lot of guys she works for.
Leonard: Yeah, but she also used to sleep with Zack.
Howard: Again...

Bernadette: I would never let Howard work with an ex.
Penny: What, you wouldn't trust him?
Bernadette: I wouldn't trust her. He's thin and sexy like a Jewish greyhound.
Penny: Yeah, that - that is the sexiest dog.

Bernadette: And I'd like to think Howie wouldn't take a job I was uncomfortable with.
Penny: 'Cause he's scared of you?
Bernadette: Terrified.
Penny: Yeah.

Amy: Sheldon, is it possible that when things get really difficult, you just give up?
Sheldon: Are you calling me a quitter?
Amy: Well, if you honestly-
Sheldon: This conversation is over.

Amy: I made you tea.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: I'm sorry I called you a quitter.
Sheldon: It's okay, I stopped being upset about that. And no, the irony is not lost on me.

Zack: Penny, what's up?
Penny: Hey, uh, so I've been thinking about it and I want to take the job.
Zack: Oh, bad news. When my fiance found out that I was offering a job to my ex-girlfriend, she said it was a stupid idea and threw a shoe at me.
Penny: Oh, so there's no job?
Zack: Nope, just a little bump on my forehead.

Howard: Oh, and I'm a dork for juggling.
Bernadette: Sorry, you're not a dork. (Southern accent): You're a clown. (Regular voice): Tammy Jo, don't say that, you'll make him feel bad. (Southern accent): Look at him, what reason he got to feel good?
Howard: All right, very funny.
Bernadette: Don't listen to her, she's been in a box for, like, 25 years. (chuckles) (Southern accent) Yeah, back when his haircut was fashionable.

Zack: Hey, we should all have dinner sometime.
Penny: Uh, yeah, sure, I'll check with Leonard.
Zack: Cool, I'll check with Sara. (To his phone) Sara, pull up my calendar. It never works for me.

Leonard: We're pinned down!
Howard: We can't get through!
Raj: Sheldon, get over here and help!
Sheldon: Okay, one second.
Leonard: Sheldon, why are you jumping up and down?
Sheldon: I'm trying to shoot.
Howard: Then use the shoot button, not the "wonderful thing about Tiggers" button!

Amy: Okay, fine, let's say you never win a Nobel Prize. Let's say you spend your life doing solid scientific research surrounded by friends and loved ones who appreciate you, not for what you've accomplished but for who you are as a man. Wouldn't that be a life well-lived?
Sheldon: You're so cute. I'm going to go learn how to walk on stilts.
Amy: So many warnings.

Howard: Okay, challenge them again.
Leonard: Doing it right now. Oh, they can't. There's an important Little League game tomorrow.
Howard: No wonder they beat us, they're jocks.

Sheldon: No, but it's not just video games. I downloaded the new O.S. for my phone. Took me a week to stop accidentally texting kissy faces to everyone.
Howard: Oh, so our love is not real?

Sheldon: I guess I just need to face it, I'm no longer a wunderkind. Now I just wonder what's for lunch.
Leonard: Hot dogs.
Sheldon: Yay.

Sheldon: I've been thinking about our recent humiliation.
Leonard: You're gonna have to be more specific.
Sheldon: At the hands of those teenagers.
Leonard: More.
Sheldon: Boy teenagers.
Leonard: Oh, the video game. Yeah, that was bad.

Penny: Come on, I spent an entire plane ride with you talking about the trailer for Deadpool 2.
Leonard: Ha! I knew you weren't asleep.