Sheldon: Shall we?
Raj: Oh, my God. It's light, it's flaky, it's buttery. You don't need to have sex with him, just eat one of these.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Penny: What do you mean new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.

Sheldon: Physicist, baker, lover, what can't I do?

Penny: I didn't know you could drink while you were breastfeeding.
Bernadette: Yeah, they say the yeast in beer helps with milk production.
Amy: I'm pretty sure that's a myth. Let me check.
Bernadette: Ruin it for me, and I'll break this glass over your head.

Penny: You want food?
Bernadette: Yeah, breastfeeding burns, like, 5,000 calories a day. (To Amy) Do not touch that phone!