Raj: She didn't even get to see my penis.

Sheldon: There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe.

Penny: I'm sorry, shoes, but you have to go back.
Shoebox (Penny): But, Penny, we love you.
Penny: I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent.
Shoebox (Penny): But Penny, you look so good in us.
Penny: (To Amy) Damn it, the shoes are right!

Sheldon: Red is angry, yellow is frightened, green is jealous and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely.
Raj: Nothing rhymes with orange. Its probably lonely.
Sheldon: All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness. No, I dont see that catching on at all.

Sheldon: As a mental exercise, I invite you to figure out why the two of us can't play three-person chess.

Leonard: Sorry.
Amy: So, are you off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette?
Leonard: Yeah. How did you know?
Amy: I heard it at the mall, when I was shopping with my girlfriends, 'cause, you know, that's kind of my life now. Have a good night. Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away.

Bernadette: That bitch!

Penny: Ooh, these are cute. Of course if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.

Bernadette: I can't do this any more! I'm a good girl. I went to Catholic school!

Leonard: Hi. Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner?
Raj: The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers.

Leonard: You're kidding. 3-D?
Bernadette: That's what I hear.
Howard: Then the studio must have real faith in it.

Raj: I need a hug.
Sheldon: Sorry, I have company.
Raj: Come on, Sheldon, open the door.
Sheldon: I don't want to hug you.
Raj: I don't want to hug you, either. I was just feeling blue.
Sheldon: Blue, as in depressed?
Raj: Well, not so much depressed as lonely.
Sheldon: I don't know what color lonely is.

Raj: Sheldon, listen to me. I have a big decision to make, and I'm scared.
Sheldon: Yellow. Go ahead.
Raj: A friend at the School of Pharmacology gave me these new pills they're testing. He says it's the next big thing for social anxiety disorder.
Sheldon: Fascinating. What's in it?
Raj: I'm not sure. Some sort of beta-blocker attached to a molecule extracted from the urine of cows.
Sheldon: I like cows.
Raj: That's not the point.
Sheldon: It was its own point. Go on.
Raj: I'm a scientist. My ability to think is my bread and butter. I'm afraid if I take this, I might lose that special, unique something that makes me so successful in my field.
Sheldon: Rajesh, I've had the privilege of working alongside you for many years. My recommendation is that you gobble these up like Tic Tacs.

Amy: How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member.
Bernadette: Well what makes me the weakest member?
Amy: Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.

Bernadette: I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whip that out of you in Catholic school.
Amy: Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.