Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Howard: I've never done this before, it's kinda fun.
Raj: Yeah, if your mom could see her little Bar Mitzvah boy, she'd have a heart attack.
Bernadette: Good idea. I'll take a picture.

Amy: Did you hold the baby?
Sheldon: I did.
Amy: And how did it make you feel?
Sheldon: Looking into the blank, innocent eyes of a creature that couldn't begin to comprehend anything I was saying ... basically another day at the office.

Raj: You know, many people believe home births are better because the mother's in a warm, comfortable environment where she can be nurtured by loved ones.
Sheldon: And turn the bedroom floor into an amniotic slip 'n slide.

Amy: You wouldn't be dating Penny.
Leonard: You don't know that. I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years. I could have picked her up.
*Everybody laughs*
Penny: Oh, you weren't joking?

Sheldon: This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Like some dirty magic show.

Amy: I missed you.
Sheldon: To quote Han Solo, "I know."
Amy: Did you miss me?
Sheldon: I would have preferred to have you there with me.
Amy: Aww.
Sheldon: Or instead of me.

Sheldon: She chose to have a home birth. Because she wants to live in the stone age, and a cave wasn't available.

Penny: Do you ever imagine what that would be would be like, not being born?
Leonard: *Sheldon's knock* What do you think? *Sheldon's knock* What do you think? *Sheldon's knock* What do you think?

Leonard: Uhh, umm. I'm Leonard.
Penny: Really? You don't sound so sure.
Leonard: No, I am me.

Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look!

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon sent us all an email. "Happy Holidays from Texas", and there's pictures. *Looks at his phone* Aww, do not open them. Do not open them!
Penny: Oh come on, childbirth is a natural, beautiful - Urgh, it's like someone sawed a cow in half.
Raj: My father is a gynaecologist, I think I can handle it. *Looks at his phone* And ... now I'm gay.

Amy: (Talking about "It's A Wonderful Life") It's great. It's Christmas time, and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself.
Stuart: Don't need to see it, living it!

Bernadette: So how come you two (Leonard & Raj) didn't move in together?
Leonard: This guy wanted a place of his own because he was sure he was going to be a ladies' man.
Raj: Yeah, I was wrong.

Sheldon: The second I go out of town, you throw a Christmas party without me?
Amy: Yeah, kinda.
Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best.