Quotes from ‘The Bitcoin Entanglement’

The Bitcoin Entanglement

The Bitcoin Entanglement - Season 11, Episode 9
Aired November 30, 2017.

When Sheldon remembers mining Bitcoin a few years ago which are worth significantly more today, the guys go on a quest to track down their missing digital fortune. When they turn to Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack, Leonard is moved by an old video of Penny.

Quote from Zack Johnson

Penny: Leonard thinks when we broke up, it didn't bother me.
Zack: That's crazy. When we were going out, she used to talk about you all the time. In fact, I think she only dated me because I reminded her of you.
Leonard: Sure. Because we're both people?
Zack: Damn right we are.

Quote from Stuart

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, good. I was wondering, will you be accepting Bitcoin?
Stuart: Well, I don't know what that is, but it's got "coin" in it, and my cash register doesn't, so yeah.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh please, I have grudges that go back to preschool. Someday, I'm gonna find a grown-up Elaine Dwyer and eat her favorite crayon while she watches.
Amy: Is that why there's an Elaine Dwyer on our guest list?
Sheldon: Yes. That night, I'm going to have the first dance and the last laugh.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: Wait, what's Bitcoin?
Sheldon: It's a new online currency that's been developed. Uh, it's just like actual money, except you can't see it, hold it, or spend it on anything.
Stuart: Sounds like the kind of money I'm familiar with.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: I'll buy some Bitcoin. I just came into a little extra money when my dad raised my allowance.
Sheldon: You don't have to buy Bitcoin. You can mine it.
Leonard: Mine it? Like, mining gold?
Sheldon: Sort of. There's a limited amount, and we find it not by tunneling into the earth, but by using a computer to solve complex mathematical problems.
Howard: So let me get this straight. We have to write an elaborate program in order to find a fake coin that we can't spend on anything?
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: That sounds fun.
Raj: Yeah, I'm in.
Leonard: Staying up late, writing code, it sounds like a party.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: So what are you gonna do with your share of the money?
Raj: Uh, well, as a responsible adult, I'll put that money into a CD, wait for that CD to mature, and then buy a tiger.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: How about you?
Howard: Oh, that depends on whether I tell Bernadette or not.
Bernadette: Howard, I can hear you. The baby monitor is on.
Howard: I know. I was joking. I'm gonna put it in a college fund. (Mimes saying no)

Quote from Leonard

Raj: Wow, I-I know you were single back then, but that is a lot of porn-
Howard: Science! A lot of science.
Leonard: Wow, you were really into Asian science.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, what's going on?! Are you boys roughhousing?!
Howard: No, we're not roughhousing! We're scientists! Scientists don't roughhouse!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Excuse me, Mr. Grown-up!

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Aw, man, what happened?
Howard: It crashed. It's been doing that lately. I think it's got a virus from all the music I've been downloading.
Raj: What kind of music?
Howard: Mostly Asian. Some oldies.

Quote from Howard

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends!
Howard: They're not my little friends, and we don't want cookies!
Leonard: Actually, a cookie sounds good.
Howard: All right, we'll have cookies! Thank you very much!

Quote from Bernadette

Leonard: That's right. It must be on my old laptop.
Raj: Well, let's go.
Howard: Hey, Bernie, you mind if I run to Leonard's and-
Bernadette: Get a laptop full of money? Why are you still here?! Go, go, go!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You having a good day?
Penny: No, I missed an audition because my computer broke, and I didn't get the e-mail. Would've been a perfect part for me.
Sheldon: Was it waitress who ignores her customers? Because that's the role you were born to play.
Penny: Shut up and eat your burger.
Sheldon: Actually, it's a turkey club.
Penny: Didn't you order a burger?
Sheldon: I did, and yet here we are.

Quote from Amy

Penny: It was a long time ago, we were broken up.
Raj: Which breakup was that? Was that the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre?
Howard: No, no. This might've been during the Comic-Con Dump-A-Thon.
Penny: You have names for our breakups?
Raj: Well, they would really blur together if we didn't.
Sheldon: The Comic-Con breakup's easy to remember because Leonard was the saddest Pikachu.
Amy: Right, and he wiped his nose on your cape, and then you were the saddest Darth Vader.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I'm so sorry to hear about you and Howard.
Bernadette: Thanks. I just didn't think he was the kind of guy who would be doing weird stuff online.
Penny: Really? Wow, I thought it was so obvious, but okay.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Look, I know it's hard, but I think the best thing to do after a breakup is to take some time and be by yourself.
Bernadette: Yeah, that's healthy.
Zack: Hey, babe, ready to go?
Penny: Do as I say, not as I do.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Penny! *knock knock knock* Penny! *knock knock knock* Penny!
Penny: Sheldon, go away. I'm making a video.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back when you're alone.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I went out with him because he's great. And if I kept going out with him, I probably would've married him, and that's a little scary because I just don't think I'm ready for that. You know, plus I have got to learn how to spell Hofstadter. I-I know there's a "D" in there, but it keeps moving every time I try and write it.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: What, y-you stole our Bitcoin?
Sheldon: Oh, calm down. All I did was sneak onto your computer and download your Bitcoin onto a flash drive.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I'm not keeping it. I just wanted to watch you sweat.
Howard: If you want to watch him sweat, walk up a flight of stairs with him.
Sheldon: I've waited seven long years, but it finally happened.
Leonard: Where's our money?
Sheldon: That's the best part. It's on the Batman flash drive on your key chain. You've had it in your pocket all along.
Leonard: Sheldon I lost that key chain years ago.
Sheldon: Really? D-D-Did you look under things?

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: Huh. What's that? Ooh, Batman flash drive. Pretty cool. Huh, if I erase this, I could probably resell it for, like, ten bucks. Things are finally going my way.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I cannot believe you're mad.
Leonard: I'm not mad.
Penny: Oh, really? Tell that to your eyebrows. Bet I could place a quarter between them, and it would just stay there.

Quote from Penny

Howard: Do you think Zack stole it?
Penny: No, he doesn't know how to steal Bitcoin. I mean, he waves at trucks.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: I thought you were looking at a cliff on the beach.
Amy: We were, but Sheldon didn't like any of them. Some were too beachy, some were too cliffy.
Sheldon: And all of them were too outsidey.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Speaking of something I find interesting, did anyone read that article about Bitcoin I sent you?
Howard: Yeah, I can't believe a single Bitcoin is worth about $5,000 now.
Leonard: Wait, didn't we mine some a few years ago?
Sheldon: It was seven years ago.
Howard: Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Raj: Really? All I can remember from seven years ago is I couldn't get Kesha's "Tik Tok" out of my head.
"Tik Tok, on the clock" Whoa, welcome home, Kesha.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: If it's not tangible, how do you know it's not just gonna vanish tomorrow?
Howard: Really? You're dating Penny, and you're gonna poke at something that could vanish tomorrow?

Quote from Stuart

Raj: Hey, Stuart. You want to mine some Bitcoin with us? We'll write the program, you bring the snacks?
Stuart: Too rich for my blood.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Oh, yeah. We did it without you.
Sheldon: And do you remember what happened next?
Howard: Your mom called my mom and said we were being mean?
Sheldon: And after that?
Howard: You said that someday we'd regret this.
Sheldon: And do you know what today is?
Leonard: The day we found out we're rich and none of it is yours? (Leonard, Howard and Raj high-five)

Quote from Raj

Raj: Mining for coins sounds so manly. Ooh, we should sing a mining song.
Leonard: Do you know a mining song?
Raj: I don't know. Does "Tik Tok" by Kesha count? Because it has tunneled its way into my heart.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Well, weddings aren't about the location. They're about standing up in front of your family and friends and promising that Sheldon will never move back in here.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hey. What are you guys doing?
Raj: Uh, we have a bunch of Bitcoin on an old laptop, and it could be worth, like, a lot of money.
Penny: What-- You're kidding.
Leonard: No. We-we could be sitting on a fortune.
Penny: Okay, let the record show, I did not marry you for money, but you just got way more attractive.

Quote from Amy

Penny: You guys ready to order?
Amy: Can you take our picture, please?
Penny: Oh, sure. Smile! Perfect.
Amy: Thank you. (To her date) You may go now. It was nice to meet you, and I mean that politely, not sincerely.

Quote from Penny

Penny: What was that?
Amy: I need to prove to my mother that I'm on a date. If she thinks I faked the picture, I might need you as a witness. What's your name?
Penny: Bernadette.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: You know what, if you need a computer, you can use my laptop.
Penny: Oh, that's sweet, but I'm not gonna take your computer.
Leonard: Oh, it's fine. I-I'm getting a new one anyway.
Penny: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Don't be silly. He's desperate to hold on to you. You can get anything out of him. His car, his watch-
Howard: Maybe a kidney. You already have his testicles. You can start a collection.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Oh, my God, that's right. You gave me your laptop. That was so sweet.
Leonard: So you know where it is?
Penny: Of course.
Leonard: Great!
Raj: All right!
Howard: Yes!
Penny: I gave it to my ex-boyfriend Zack.
Leonard: No!
Howard: Why?!
Raj: Come on!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I can't believe you took a gift from me and gave it to another man.
Sheldon: Really? Of all the things she's given to other men, that's what you're concerned about?

Quote from Raj

Leonard: You know, Penny and I aren't the only ones who've broken up. So did Howard and Bernadette.
Raj: Uh, not to brag, but all my breakups have lasted.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hello, Leonard. I was gonna write you an e-mail, but I'm a little drunk, and spelling is a sober person's game, so I feel I owe you a 'splanation. I-- I'm sorry. A 'splanation.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hmm who could it have been?
Amy: Sheldon, what did you do?
Sheldon: I plotted my revenge. If you get a dish, I'll serve you some cold.

Quote from Stuart

Leonard: No, we-we definitely mined some. I-I remember sitting in your bedroom and writing the program.
I think we ended up with a bunch of it.
Raj: Wow, and at, like, $5,000 apiece, that's-
Stuart: Sounds like a lot of money, which we agreed to share 'cause I-I was totally there. I remember now.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Before we begin, this may have some unprecedented tax implications. In fact, we should start early 'cause we are gonna be on the phone with the IRS for hours. (gasps) Did anybody else just get goose bumps?
Leonard: Great, so just the three of us.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Sheldon, please.
Sheldon: Should I be the bigger man?
Amy: I think you should.
Sheldon: (snorts) Oh, why'd I ask you?

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hey, sweetie.
Leonard: Hey.
Penny: Everybody good?
Leonard: Yeah.
Howard: Fine.
Sheldon: Sure.
(Raj whispers to Howard)
Howard: You don't have to whisper, you can just nod your head.
Penny: Or you could just speak.
(Raj shakes his head)

Quote from Zack Johnson

Zack: So good to see you guys. Man, we should do this more often.
Penny: Come over to get laptops back from you?
Zack: Totally.

Quote from Zack Johnson

Zack: Are you guys fighting?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: No.
Zack: Are you fighting about whether or not you're fighting? 'Cause I've had that fight before. Turns out we were, and I lost.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: No, no, no. I am alone. I'm just telling Leonard why I broke up with him.
Sheldon: Oh, he knows. The video I want to see is why you went out with him in the first place.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Sheldon, what do I do?
Sheldon: Try to pass out facedown, so you don't choke on your vomit.
Penny: I am not gonna pass out. But thank you anyway.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Aw, you love me so much.
Penny: I married you, jackass.
Leonard: I I know, and not just out of pity like everyone said in their wedding toast.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Hey, when we sell the Bitcoin, are you gonna pay your dad back all the money you took from him over the years?
Raj: Never even crossed my mind.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, that is unfortunate. I guess we've all learned a lesson today.
Amy: What was the lesson?
Sheldon: I don't know.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Why are they making four more Avatar movies? It's not like the first one is even that good.
Leonard: What are you talking about? You love that movie. You even went as Avatar for Halloween.
Howard: I remember. That was not a lot of clothes.

Quote from Stuart

Leonard: I can't believe we forgot about it.
Howard: It's not that surprising. They were basically worthless when we got them.
Leonard: I wish I knew how much we had.
Raj: Sheldon, you must remember.
Sheldon: Of course I do.
Stuart: Oh, yeah, he and I totally remember. You tell them, Sheldon.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: I can't believe you haven't seen Avatar yet. What is wrong with you?
Leonard: Penny and I just started dating, and you know I don't like big crowds.
Raj: Because you're afraid Penny will leave you for someone in them?
Leonard: Terrified.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Yes, instead of going out, they just stay home and have constant coitus.
Leonard: Well, I didn't want to say it, but I-I do like to hear it.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Fine, I'm mad. I guess I was more upset by our breakup than you.
Penny: That is not true. Of course I was upset.
Leonard: Didn't seem like it. You started dating the first tall, handsome hunk you could find.
Penny: I'm sorry, are you mad that I dated Zack or that you didn't?

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: I'm, uh, I'm running a special today, uh, buy something, keep having a comic book store to come to.

Quote from Raj

Raj: This is awkward. I was actually gonna return this.
Stuart: What's wrong with it?
Raj: I-I finished it.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Maybe we should double date. I'll bring Penny and you can bring your mom.
Howard: Oh, make your jokes, but my date started a savings account for me. Did yours?

Quote from Zack Johnson

Leonard: So do you have it?
Zack: Of course I do. Penny gave it to me as a gift. You don't get rid of something like that.

Quote from Zack Johnson

Zack: Oh, also, there was that video about how much she missed you.
Penny: What video?
Zack: The one on the laptop. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, but I am a huge snoop. Ask my neighbor. She'll tell you. But not right now; she's in the shower.