Penny: No, no, no. I am alone. I'm just telling Leonard why I broke up with him.
Sheldon: Oh, he knows. The video I want to see is why you went out with him in the first place.

Penny: Sheldon, what do I do?
Sheldon: Try to pass out facedown, so you don't choke on your vomit.
Penny: I am not gonna pass out. But thank you anyway.

Leonard: Aw, you love me so much.
Penny: I married you, jackass.
Leonard: I I know, and not just out of pity like everyone said in their wedding toast.

Leonard: Hey, when we sell the Bitcoin, are you gonna pay your dad back all the money you took from him over the years?
Raj: Never even crossed my mind.

Sheldon: Well, that is unfortunate. I guess we've all learned a lesson today.
Amy: What was the lesson?
Sheldon: I don't know.

Stuart: I'm, uh, I'm running a special today, uh, buy something, keep having a comic book store to come to.

Raj: Why are they making four more Avatar movies? It's not like the first one is even that good.
Leonard: What are you talking about? You love that movie. You even went as Avatar for Halloween.
Howard: I remember. That was not a lot of clothes.

Leonard: I can't believe we forgot about it.
Howard: It's not that surprising. They were basically worthless when we got them.
Leonard: I wish I knew how much we had.
Raj: Sheldon, you must remember.
Sheldon: Of course I do.
Stuart: Oh, yeah, he and I totally remember. You tell them, Sheldon.

Raj: I can't believe you haven't seen Avatar yet. What is wrong with you?
Leonard: Penny and I just started dating, and you know I don't like big crowds.
Raj: Because you're afraid Penny will leave you for someone in them?
Leonard: Terrified.

Sheldon: Yes, instead of going out, they just stay home and have constant coitus.
Leonard: Well, I didn't want to say it, but I-I do like to hear it.

Zack: Oh, also, there was that video about how much she missed you.
Penny: What video?
Zack: The one on the laptop. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, but I am a huge snoop. Ask my neighbor. She'll tell you. But not right now; she's in the shower.

Raj: This is awkward. I was actually gonna return this.
Stuart: What's wrong with it?
Raj: I-I finished it.

Leonard: Maybe we should double date. I'll bring Penny and you can bring your mom.
Howard: Oh, make your jokes, but my date started a savings account for me. Did yours?

Leonard: So do you have it?
Zack: Of course I do. Penny gave it to me as a gift. You don't get rid of something like that.