Penny: You guys ready to order?
Amy: Can you take our picture, please?
Penny: Oh, sure. Smile! Perfect.
Amy: Thank you. (To her date) You may go now. It was nice to meet you, and I mean that politely, not sincerely.

Penny: What was that?
Amy: I need to prove to my mother that I'm on a date. If she thinks I faked the picture, I might need you as a witness. What's your name?
Penny: Bernadette.

Leonard: You know what, if you need a computer, you can use my laptop.
Penny: Oh, that's sweet, but I'm not gonna take your computer.
Leonard: Oh, it's fine. I-I'm getting a new one anyway.
Penny: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Don't be silly. He's desperate to hold on to you. You can get anything out of him. His car, his watch-
Howard: Maybe a kidney. You already have his testicles. You can start a collection.

Penny: Oh, my God, that's right. You gave me your laptop. That was so sweet.
Leonard: So you know where it is?
Penny: Of course.
Leonard: Great!
Raj: All right!
Howard: Yes!
Penny: I gave it to my ex-boyfriend Zack.
Leonard: No!
Howard: Why?!
Raj: Come on!

Leonard: I can't believe you took a gift from me and gave it to another man.
Sheldon: Really? Of all the things she's given to other men, that's what you're concerned about?

Leonard: You know, Penny and I aren't the only ones who've broken up. So did Howard and Bernadette.
Raj: Uh, not to brag, but all my breakups have lasted.

Penny: Hello, Leonard. I was gonna write you an e-mail, but I'm a little drunk, and spelling is a sober person's game, so I feel I owe you a 'splanation. I-- I'm sorry. A 'splanation.

Sheldon: Hmm who could it have been?
Amy: Sheldon, what did you do?
Sheldon: I plotted my revenge. If you get a dish, I'll serve you some cold.

Leonard: Fine, I'm mad. I guess I was more upset by our breakup than you.
Penny: That is not true. Of course I was upset.
Leonard: Didn't seem like it. You started dating the first tall, handsome hunk you could find.
Penny: I'm sorry, are you mad that I dated Zack or that you didn't?

Leonard: No, we-we definitely mined some. I-I remember sitting in your bedroom and writing the program.
I think we ended up with a bunch of it.
Raj: Wow, and at, like, $5,000 apiece, that's-
Stuart: Sounds like a lot of money, which we agreed to share 'cause I-I was totally there. I remember now.

Sheldon: Before we begin, this may have some unprecedented tax implications. In fact, we should start early 'cause we are gonna be on the phone with the IRS for hours. (gasps) Did anybody else just get goose bumps?
Leonard: Great, so just the three of us.

Leonard: Sheldon, please.
Sheldon: Should I be the bigger man?
Amy: I think you should.
Sheldon: (snorts) Oh, why'd I ask you?

Penny: Hey, sweetie.
Leonard: Hey.
Penny: Everybody good?
Leonard: Yeah.
Howard: Fine.
Sheldon: Sure.
(Raj whispers to Howard)
Howard: You don't have to whisper, you can just nod your head.
Penny: Or you could just speak.
(Raj shakes his head)

Zack: So good to see you guys. Man, we should do this more often.
Penny: Come over to get laptops back from you?
Zack: Totally.

Zack: Are you guys fighting?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: No.
Zack: Are you fighting about whether or not you're fighting? 'Cause I've had that fight before. Turns out we were, and I lost.