Sheldon: I like it. I think you're on to something.
Leonard: Really? You're not messing with me?
Sheldon: Not at all. In fact, I have got something for just such an occasion. I was starting to think I'd never get a chance to give it to you. Good job!
Leonard: You're giving me a sticker?
Sheldon: Not just a sticker. That's a sticker of a kitty saying "Mee-wow".
Leonard: I'm not a preschooler.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll take it back.
Leonard: I earned this. Back off.

Sheldon: Can I respond now?
Leonard: Do it.
Sheldon: You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy just how horny I can be.
Leonard: Somebody else do it.

Bernadette: (In pageant video) And you should pick me for Miss. California Quiznos 1999, because I want to tell you what I want, what I really really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna, really, really, be the California Quiznos 1999.

Leonard: You wrote a paper on my idea?
Sheldon: I wrote a paper on our idea.
Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldony goodness and cooked it in the Easy Bake oven of my mind.

Amy: Okay, that's enough.
Penny: What, no. I really want to know what happens. And Bernadette really, really, really wants to know what happens.

Howard: What are you doing?
Raj: I've created some other user accounts so I can post positive comments about their paper.
Howard: "This wee little bairn of a theory nearly blew my kilt off."
Raj: No, you have to read it like Dr. Angus McDougall of the University of Edinburgh would.
"This wee little bairn of a theory nearly blew my kilt off."

Amy: Whatever happened to that ape movie you were in?
Penny: Oh, God. Probably nothing. I think I saw the director twirling a sign outside the Verizon store.

Amy: You know there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. I'm starting to miss that.

Sheldon: The whole thing reeks of blueberry. You know I can't stand these scented markers.
Leonard: No one told you to taste them.

Leonard: This is good. Our idea is really good.
Sheldon: Well, the light bulb in this oven is ridiculously bright.

Sheldon: "My good sir. We are neither crackpots, nor wannabes. In fact, we are experts in our fields. And while you hide behind your anonymity, we stand behind our paper. And later tonight, your mother."
Leonard: You don't think that's too rough?
Sheldon: We're just standing behind her. It's not like we're gonna say "Boo!" and scare her.

Penny: You're building a particle detector using super-fluid helium.
Leonard: You know, when you talk like that, I want to take you right here on this table.
Penny: And you know from past experience, this table can not support both our weight.

Raj: I'm sick of people being mean on the Internet.
Howard: I think the anonymity makes everyone feel like they can say things they'd never say to your face.
Sheldon: Interesting. I can't think of a single thing I wouldn't say to someone's face.
Leonard: Never noticed that about you.

Sheldon: Professor Hawking?
Professor Hawking: Oh, brother. You should see the look on your faces.
Leonard: You really didn't like our paper?
Professor Hawking: I like your paper very much. The premise is intriguing.
Sheldon: Then why are you attacking us?
Professor Hawking: If you were sitting in a chair for forty-years, you'd get bored, too. Anyway, gotta go, I promised to help the neighbor kid with his math homework. Ciao.

Leonard: Is your tongue blue?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.

Sheldon: He wrote back! "Cooper and Hofstadter resorting to juvenile attempts at humor is proof they have nothing to back up their ridiculous paper. It should come as no surprise given they work at Cal-Tech, essentially a technical school where even the physicists are basically engineers".
Oh, engineers. Do you know how insulting that is?
Howard: Yes.

Penny: "'Time travel? I don't understand', said Amelia. Cooper stared at her, 'Which word don't you understand? Time or travel."
Bernadette: Wow. Even in your fantasy, Sheldon's kind of exhausting.
Amy: He's like that in the beginning so she can change him. It's called good writing. And wishful thinking.

Raj: All the other comments said really nice things. Focus on those.
Howard: Yeah. Dr. Dimitri Plankovic of Moscow University said "This paper great. I love it more than vodka."
Raj: See, better with the accent.

Howard: How are you today, Mr. Can You Believe These Jackasses?
Raj: Just dandy, Mr. I Wish I Was Better At Improv.

Penny: "With a heavy heart, Amelia stood before the newly repaired time machine. She regretted giving Cooper the part he needed."
Bernadette: Because she wanted him to give her the part she needed.

Leonard: Sheldon, this is super-fluid helium. Put this in your mouth, your tongue will freeze and fall off.
Sheldon: Does it smell like blueberries?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then we're probably okay.

Penny: Well, I've been poking around the internet and I think I've found something we'll enjoy watching even more.
Amy: What is it?
Penny: Oh, just a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant.
Bernadette: Okay, I learned my lesson. Making fun of people is wrong.
Amy: I haven't learned my lesson, play it. Play it.

Bernadette: Search for it.
Penny: What? No. Why?
Bernadette: Because it would be fun to watch.
Penny: It would be humiliating.
Bernadette: Well now we have two reasons.

Sheldon: My name is right on there with yours. That is a sure fire mark of quality. That might as well say "Directed by Joss Whedon".

Leonard: You will not believe what Stephen Hawking just said.
Penny, Amy and Bernadette: Get out!

Penny: You look like a talking cupcake.

Sheldon: Good to see you again, Mr. Stephen Hawking Liked Our Paper.
Leonard: Oh, and you as well, Mr. Our Premise Is Intriguing.
Howard: How do you do, Mr. I'll Admit That's Pretty Cool.
Raj: Yeah, you keep setting me up for failure.

Leonard: This is exciting. This is really exciting. I have to go find Sheldon.
Penny: Okay, well, if you find him use the kitchen island. That coffee table will not support both of you.

Penny: "It was just past dawn on the prairie and, like every morning, Amelia prepared to do her chores. Except something about this morning felt different."
Bernadette: Why? Why did it feel different?
Penny: "Maybe it was the first whisper of winter in the air. Or maybe it was the unconscious, handsome man with porcelain skin and curious clothing she was about to discover lying in the field. A man who would open her mind to new possibilities and her body to new feelings."

Leonard: Do you really want him to write back?
Sheldon: I do. And no matter how he responds, I'm going to destroy him with a picture of a bored cat saying "Oh, really?"
Leonard: Mee-wow.

Amy: Why? What did I do?
Bernadette: I'm sorry. I had to get the spotlight off me, and tearing down other women is part of my pageant training.

Leonard: "Upon review, I've changed my mind about the Cooper-Hofstadter hypothesis that space-time is like a super-fluid. In fact, it's inspired me to come up with my own theory. Maybe space-time is like two clowns with their heads in a bucket. Much like Cooper and Hofstadter."

Sheldon: Look, I am simply going to defend our work, scientist to scientist. And, failing that, suggest that his mother enjoys a string of both human and non-human lovers.

Amy: It's not about me and Sheldon. It's about a young woman in the 1800s named Amelia, and the time-traveling physicist named Cooper she falls in love with.

Leonard: One calls it insightful and innovative. We're insightful and innovative.
Sheldon: Nice to meet you, Mr. Insightful.
Leonard: Ah, the pleasure is mine, Mr. Innovative.

Penny: "So instead she asked if in the future Montana ever became a state."
Amy: Hey, in the 1800s that was considered flirting.