Sheldon: Professor Hawking?
Professor Hawking: Oh, brother. You should see the look on your faces.
Leonard: You really didn't like our paper?
Professor Hawking: I like your paper very much. The premise is intriguing.
Sheldon: Then why are you attacking us?
Professor Hawking: If you were sitting in a chair for forty-years, you'd get bored, too. Anyway, gotta go, I promised to help the neighbor kid with his math homework. Ciao.

Raj: All the other comments said really nice things. Focus on those.
Howard: Yeah. Dr. Dimitri Plankovic of Moscow University said "This paper great. I love it more than vodka."
Raj: See, better with the accent.

Penny: "'Time travel? I don't understand', said Amelia. Cooper stared at her, 'Which word don't you understand? Time or travel."
Bernadette: Wow. Even in your fantasy, Sheldon's kind of exhausting.
Amy: He's like that in the beginning so she can change him. It's called good writing. And wishful thinking.

Sheldon: My name is right on there with yours. That is a sure fire mark of quality. That might as well say "Directed by Joss Whedon".

Bernadette: Search for it.
Penny: What? No. Why?
Bernadette: Because it would be fun to watch.
Penny: It would be humiliating.
Bernadette: Well now we have two reasons.

Leonard: Sheldon, this is super-fluid helium. Put this in your mouth, your tongue will freeze and fall off.
Sheldon: Does it smell like blueberries?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then we're probably okay.

Howard: How are you today, Mr. Can You Believe These Jackasses?
Raj: Just dandy, Mr. I Wish I Was Better At Improv.

Penny: Well, I've been poking around the internet and I think I've found something we'll enjoy watching even more.
Amy: What is it?
Penny: Oh, just a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant.
Bernadette: Okay, I learned my lesson. Making fun of people is wrong.
Amy: I haven't learned my lesson, play it. Play it.

Penny: "With a heavy heart, Amelia stood before the newly repaired time machine. She regretted giving Cooper the part he needed."
Bernadette: Because she wanted him to give her the part she needed.

Leonard: You will not believe what Stephen Hawking just said.
Penny, Amy and Bernadette: Get out!

Penny: You look like a talking cupcake.

Sheldon: Good to see you again, Mr. Stephen Hawking Liked Our Paper.
Leonard: Oh, and you as well, Mr. Our Premise Is Intriguing.
Howard: How do you do, Mr. I'll Admit That's Pretty Cool.
Raj: Yeah, you keep setting me up for failure.

Leonard: This is exciting. This is really exciting. I have to go find Sheldon.
Penny: Okay, well, if you find him use the kitchen island. That coffee table will not support both of you.

Penny: "It was just past dawn on the prairie and, like every morning, Amelia prepared to do her chores. Except something about this morning felt different."
Bernadette: Why? Why did it feel different?
Penny: "Maybe it was the first whisper of winter in the air. Or maybe it was the unconscious, handsome man with porcelain skin and curious clothing she was about to discover lying in the field. A man who would open her mind to new possibilities and her body to new feelings."

Leonard: Do you really want him to write back?
Sheldon: I do. And no matter how he responds, I'm going to destroy him with a picture of a bored cat saying "Oh, really?"
Leonard: Mee-wow.