Josh: So, I have to ask, was the robot sexy?
Howard: It was actually just a mechanical hand.
Josh: 'Cause that's all you need, right?
Howard: You are my brother.

Sheldon: It reminds me of when my stupid brother and sister would build forts in the living room, and wouldn't let me in. I hated that so much.
Amy: You know, there's nothing I can do about getting you invited to the symposium, but if you wanted we could build a fort.
Sheldon: Isn't that a little juvenile?
Amy: More juvenile than this? *Puts up picture of smiling Sheldon to her face*

Howard: Hey, I threw out the first pitch at an Angels game.
Josh: Wow.
Bernadette: He did it with a robot.
Josh: You had sex with a robot?
Howard: That's not what she meant.
Raj: But technically, yes.

Leonard: Hang on, if you're making all this money, where is it?
Penny: In a safe place.
Leonard: What does that mean, under your bed?
Penny: No, it means a diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds. I'm not overly conservative. I'm young, so my guy said I can afford to take some risks.
Leonard: Wait a minute, you have "a guy"?
Penny: Don't you have a guy?
Leonard: Why would I have a guy?! I don't have any money!

Wil Wheaton: You know that the movie actually has a little bit of a cult following.
Penny: Really?
Wil Wheaton: Yeah. I was at a science-fiction convention, and I saw a woman dressed as your half-ape character.
Leonard: Oh, if she was with an Indian guy dressed like a banana, that was just my friends, Howard and Raj.

Sheldon: Well, wait. What if, just this once, we suspend the date night parameters and you stay later?
Amy: Well, as long as we're suspending the parameters. I could stay really late and we could have our first sleepover.
Sheldon: That's a big step.
Amy: It's a big fort.

Raj: So, how's it going with the title to the house?
Howard: Great, it's all done. The lawyer tracked down my father and got him to sign it over. I didn't have to meet him, I didn't have to talk to him, I don't even know where he is.
Raj: Wow, so you're not curious at all?
Howard: Nope.
Raj: What if he's in prison? What if he's a spy? What if he's in a Beatles cover band? I'm just saying, if he's got your nose and haircut, he'd make a killer Ringo.

Howard: Settle this. Those little animated pictures on the Internet, are they called "gifs" or "jifs"?
Leonard: Well, the G stands for "graphics." That's a hard G, so I'd say "gif."
Raj: What? The guy who invented it says it's "jif."
Howard: I'm sorry, do you mean the guy or the juy?

Sheldon: I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.

Sheldon: Do you think there's a chance that an asteroid could hit the Earth, destroying Feynman's house and everyone in it?
Amy: No, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, buckle up. You're in for a cranky night.

Raj: You here looking for money?
Josh: No.
Raj: A kidney, cornea, piece of his liver?
Josh: No.
Raj: You're in a Beatles cover band and you need Howard to replace your dad as Ringo.

Amy: What are we doing? This is a fort. Let's sit on the floor.
Sheldon: Roughing it? Okay. *sits on floor. Gasps* Everything looks so big from down here. This must be how Leonard feels.

Leonard: Well, you kids have fun. I'm going to go to sleep.
Sheldon: Leonard, don't you want to see the inside of the fort?
Leonard: Yeah, I'm good.
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I really wanted to tell someone they can't come in.

Wil Wheaton: I've just been handed a note. I'm going to read it. "Wil, do you want more Diet Coke? Also, we have juice."
Leonard: I didn't want to interrupt.

Amy: Can I come in?
Sheldon: Yes, oh, but enter through the side. Batman is a load-bearing blanket.