Howard: Settle this. Those little animated pictures on the Internet, are they called "gifs" or "jifs"?
Leonard: Well, the G stands for "graphics." That's a hard G, so I'd say "gif."
Raj: What? The guy who invented it says it's "jif."
Howard: I'm sorry, do you mean the guy or the juy?

Sheldon: I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.

Sheldon: Do you need to borrow a toothbrush or pajamas?
Amy: Would it alarm you to know that I hid those things here two years ago just in case this ever came up?
Sheldon: It would, but you know how much I admire preparedness. How did you know we'd be in the living room?
Amy: Who says this is the only one I hid?

Leonard: Okay, fine. Sheldon, may I please visit your fort?
Sheldon: I want to say no, but it's too glorious. Get in here!

Kevin Smith: I'm actually in pre-production on a movie right now. Way different than anything I've ever done before. It's called Clerks 3. You should come over and read for a part.
Penny: Oh, my, I would love that.
Leonard: You have a new job.
Penny: Well, maybe I can do both.
Leonard: I don't think you can do both.
Penny: I don't think I asked you.
Kevin Smith: Yeah, you tell him, Penny.
Leonard: Stay out of it, Kevin Smith.

Josh: This is a little weird, but a lawyer was trying to contact my father, because his name was still on the title for this house.
Howard: W... uh, who's your father?
Josh: Sam Wolowitz.
Howard: S-Sam Wolowitz is my father.
Josh: I know.
Howard: Well, wait, so if we have the same father... I mean, are you saying you're my half-brother?
Josh: I think so.
Howard: Bernadette, weird things are happening out here!

Leonard: Wil's had lots of great guests. Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden.
Penny: Those are Star Trek people.
Leonard: Yes!
Penny: I only figured that out because I've never heard of any of them.
Wil Wheaton: I deserve that. I invited you on my show and I drove here.

Sheldon: Well, I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
Howard: Something happened different from the way you wanted it.
Sheldon: I guess news travels fast.

Amy: Amazing.
Sheldon: I know. This isn't the printout. This is my real face.

Bernadette: So, Josh, what do you do?
Josh I'm studying oceanography down in San Diego.
Bernadette: Aww, how nice.
I love Finding Nemo.

Raj: Enough chit chat. How do we know you are who you say you are?
Josh Why would I lie?
Raj: Okay, you got me there.

Sheldon: Very well. I will agree to a family-friendly, G-rated, boy/girl sleepover.
Amy: PG. Some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers.
Sheldon: G-rated with a warning for families with babies and toddlers.
Amy: You got yourself a sleepover.

Penny: So, how many people listen?
Wil Wheaton: Most people download it later, but usually a few thousand people listen live.
Penny: What? A few thousand people listen to you talk about nerd stuff?
Wil Wheaton: Again, right in the ears, straight to the feelings.

Penny: I think I started to suspect it was a bad movie when I looked at the script and saw the title, "Serial Ape-ist 2: Monkey See, Monkey Kill".
Wil Wheaton: Uh, spoiler alert. After the monkey sees, it kills.

Sheldon: You know what? I used to be a fan of evolution, but I've since evolved, and now I think it's dumb.