Top 'The Big Bang Theory' Quotes
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Tangerine Factor
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
Quote from Stuart in the episode The Hofstadter Isotope
Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Griffin Equivalency
Howard: Sheldon, don't take this the wrong way, but, you're insane.
Leonard: That may well be, but the fact is it wouldn't kill us to meet some new people.
Sheldon: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens. And I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.
Quote from Amy in the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!
Quote from Raj in the episode The Clean Room Infiltration
Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.
Quote from Professor Proton in the episode The Proton Transmogrification
Sheldon: I know why. You've come to me because you're my Obi-Wan.
Arthur: I'm not familiar with that. Is that an Internet?
Quote from Penny in the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation
Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation
Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?
Quote from Raj in the episode The Santa Simulation
Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?
Quote from Penny in the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.
Quote from Zack Johnson in the episode The Lunar Excitation
Zack: One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.
Quote from Penny in the episode The Cooper Extraction
Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.