Quotes from ‘The Friendship Turbulence’

The Friendship Turbulence

The Friendship Turbulence
Season 7, Episode 17 - Aired March 6, 2014

When Howard and Sheldon get into a tiff, Bernadette tries to bring the friends back together. Meanwhile, Penny is offered an embarrassing movie part, while Raj gets Amy to contact a woman on his behalf.

Quote from Amy

Raj: Amy, I could use some help.
Amy: Let me guess. There's an undergrad in a leather jacket snapping his fingers by the water fountain.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: Raj, your tag's sticking out. *Bernadette tucks Raj's clothing tag back in*
Raj: Thank you. That's the closest I've come to sex in like two years.
Bernadette: Now I feel a little gross.
Raj: You're only making it seem more real for me.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm sorry for every mean thing I ever did or said to you.
Howard: I'm sorry too. It's all my fault.
Sheldon: If you weren't my friend there'd be a hole in my life.
Howard: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Kind of like when Firefly was cancelled, but not as big.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I have one question. Is this a prank? Where you land in Houston and you've made up wanted posters which have my face with a moustache and a Spanish name, and I get arrested and deported to South America?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Well I'm glad, because I would not have seen that coming.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Listen, I was thinking you and I could probably try to be better friends.
Sheldon: Really? I was thinking what we have now is a bit much.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Then I met Sheldon and look at where we are now.
Raj: You've kissed like once in three years.
Amy: That's true. Do whatever you want.

Quote from Howard

Howard: How do I know what you said? Damn you and your noise-cancelling breasts.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I said to stop insulting each other. I didn't tell you to take him on a romantic getaway.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Look, I admit that it's odd that Raj didn't write to you himself. But if you get to know him, you'll see he's just a sweet, regular guy. As a counterpoint, here he is uninvited and visibly sweaty.

Quote from Amy

Howard: Is that book called "Lies I tell to get sex"?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?

Quote from Amy

Amy: Thanks for walking me to my car.
Raj: Actually it's for both of us. Last night I watched Westside Story and I'm a little freaked out by streetgangs.
Amy: Why can't Raj find a girl? The mystery continues.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Come on, let's just get this over with.
Leonard: "Let's just get this over with?" Am I driving you to the Cheesecake Factory or are we having sex?

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, she's my wife. If anyone's gonna make her feel gross about sex, it's me.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: Oh, I'm fine. It's just some stomach medication for my trip. There's a remote yet distinct possibility that I may end up in South America.
Penny: Remember the old days when I would have said something dumb like "Why?"

Quote from Raj

Raj: Emily, your face is like a precious Dew-kissed flower.
Amy: Wow.
Raj: I know. Powerful stuff, huh?
Amy: No. You're supposed to be yourself. Not all desperate and creepy.
Raj: Okay, I'm getting some mixed messages here.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Hello, Emily.
Emily: Hello.
Raj: Amy told me you were concerned that I might be too passive and shy. Let me ask you something: would a passive guy barge in here to look you in the eye and say "Hey, dew-kissed flower. What's up?".
Emily: No, but a weird guy with no boundaries might.
Raj: Okay, that's a separate issue. Let's put a pin that and just focus on the passive thing.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Not my best first date, but not my worst either.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: I'm an astronaut and you know it. You just don't like admitting it because you're jealous.
Sheldon: Well, truth be told, as a child I did dream of going to space. Those astronauts were my heroes. And when you got to go, it was hard for me.
Howard: Thank you.
Sheldon: Because it made me realize they'll just send anyone up there.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: What now?
Sheldon: I have to go to the bathroom.
Howard: You just went to the bathroom.
Sheldon: But I didn't use it because it didn't seem safe. Despite all my emails, the toilet didn't have a seatbelt.
Howard: Well, it still doesn't.
Sheldon: I realize that but safety concerns went out the window two apple juices ago.

Quote from Howard

In-flight Announcement: The Captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign. You're now free to move about the cabin.
Howard: It's over.
Sheldon: Yeah.
Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I give you one simple thing to do: contact a complete stranger and make her fall in love with me, and you blow it!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard, could you wrap it up? We're waiting on you.
Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.
*Sheldon goes back into the apartment*
Sheldon: You were wrong, Friend Howard. She completely understood.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Remember the old days when I would point out that your check engine light is out?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Well, get ready to stroll down memory lane. Penny, your check engine light is on.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I looked like C3P0 and Peewee Herman. And he called me C3Peewee Herman.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Don't a lot of famous actors get their start doing bad movies?
Penny: Okay, I don't think Meryl Streep ever had to say "Must keep gorilla hands from killing again".
Raj: If she did it would be amazing. That woman can do no wrong.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I have an eidetic memory. I don't what his (Raj's) problem is.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Nine years, eleven months and three weeks ago, he followed that up replacing the slides for my lecture with photographs of nude fat women bending over.
Amy: Really?
Howard: The lecture was on cosmic gas clouds.
Raj: I was there. It was funny!

Quote from Leonard

Penny: I called them. The part's gone. They gave it to someone else. Now some girl's going to get discovered and get famous, and go on Letterman and talk about how she got her big break on some cheap monkey movie all because some dumb girl though it was beneath her.
Leonard: At least they talk about you on Letterman.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: I don't know what to say.
Leonard: Don't say anything. ... I mean you could say thank you, I did just buy you a car.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: You excited for Texas?
Sheldon: Oh, very much so.
Howard: It's not everyday you get to tour NASA with a real astronaut.
Sheldon: Ohh, who's the real astronaut?
Howard: ... Buzz Aldrin.
Sheldon: Oh, yay!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: To this day I still get a monthly copy of "Granny on Granny". Which other than its surprisingly fun puzzle page is complete filth.

Quote from Raj

Amy: Before I met Sheldon I was ready to give up too. Once, I even called in on my OBGYN just for some human contact.
Raj: It has been a while since I got my prostate checked.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: It's just so humiliating.
Leonard: "So humiliating?" Am I driving you to the Cheesecake factory or - I'm sorry, I'll stop. I'll stop.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh apple juice stay where you are.