Penny: I called them. The part's gone. They gave it to someone else. Now some girl's going to get discovered and get famous, and go on Letterman and talk about how she got her big break on some cheap monkey movie all because some dumb girl though it was beneath her.
Leonard: At least they talk about you on Letterman.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Bernadette: Raj, your tag's sticking out. *Bernadette tucks Raj's clothing tag back in*
Raj: Thank you. That's the closest I've come to sex in like two years.
Bernadette: Now I feel a little gross.
Raj: You're only making it seem more real for me.

Sheldon: I have one question. Is this a prank? Where you land in Houston and you've made up wanted posters which have my face with a moustache and a Spanish name, and I get arrested and deported to South America?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Well I'm glad, because I would not have seen that coming.

Howard: Listen, I was thinking you and I could probably try to be better friends.
Sheldon: Really? I was thinking what we have now is a bit much.