Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Amy: If Sheldon proposed to me during sex, my ovaries would grab onto him and never let go.

Sheldon: Amy, when I look in your eyes and you're looking back in mine, everything feels not quite normal. Because I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited and, at the same time, terrified. The truth is, I don't know what I feel, except I know what kind of man I want to be.
Amy: Sheldon, that was beautiful.
Sheldon: I should hope so, that's from the first Spider-Man movie.
Amy: I'll take it.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Wives don't take boys from their mothers.

Amy: I can't believe I bleached my moustache for this.

Leonard: You know, it's not exactly glamorous up there. The water that the astronauts drink is made from each other's recycled urine.
Stuart: Must be nice. Nobody wants anything that comes out of me.

Penny: So, does Sheldon have anything special planned for you tomorrow night?
Amy: Oh, yes. According to the relationship agreement, on the anniversary of our first date, he must take me to a nice dinner, ask about my day, and engage in casual physical contact that a disinterested onlooker might mistake for intimacy.
Penny: That's hot. You kids better use protection.

Leonard: I know what the anthropic principle is.
Sheldon: Of course. I just explained it to you. Now, where do you stand on it?
Leonard: Where do you stand on it?
Sheldon: Strongly pro.
Leonard: Then I believe that God created the world in six days and on the seventh he made you to annoy me.

Leonard: I got all your favorites. Beer, wings, sliders. We can watch the football game. I even painted my stomach.
Penny: Go Sports?
Leonard: Well, in case you were in the mood for baseball, I didn't want to look ridiculous.

Amy: Have I ever told you you're like a sexy praying mantis?
Sheldon: Every time you drink alcohol.

Sheldon: Raj, where do you stand on the anthropic principle?
Raj: I'm all for it.
Sheldon: Attaboy.
Leonard: Well, hang on. Why do you believe that he knows what it is and I don't?
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard. Let's not take a saw to the branch we're sitting on, shall we?

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Yeah?
Raj: Do you want to hang out tomorrow night, maybe grab a bite to eat or catch a late movie?
Stuart: Yeah, I'd like to, but I'm a little tight on funds.
Raj: No problem. My treat. I'll swing by after work.
Stuart: Okay.
Raj: Okay.
(After Raj leaves)
Stuart: I could do worse.

Dimitri: What are you gonna do when you get back to Earth?
Wolowitz: Oh, I'm never going back.

Raj: Waiter? A bottle of champagne and three glasses. Oh boy, isn't this romantic?
Sheldon: Oh, I hope that's a rhetorical question, because I have no clue.

Stuart: So, Howard's really in space, huh?
Leonard: Mmm-hmm. International Space Station. 250 miles that way.
Raj: Right now, Howard's staring down at our planet like a tiny Jewish Greek god. Zeusowitz.