Quotes from ‘The Guitarist Amplification’

The Guitarist Amplification

The Guitarist Amplification - Season 3, Episode 7
Aired November 9, 2009.

When Penny invites an old boyfriend to stay at her apartment for a weeks, it sparks an argument between her and Leonard. Their fighting makes Sheldon uncomfortable as it reminds him of his parents' arguments.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Stop it both of you! All this fighting, I might as well be back with my parents!
*Imitating his Mom* Dammit, George! I told you if you didn't quit drinking I would leave you!
*Imitating his Dad* Well, I guess that makes you a liar, because I'm drunk as hell and you are still here!
*Imitating his Mom* Stop yelling, you're making Sheldon cry!
*Imitating his Dad* I'll tell you what is making Sheldon cry, that I let you name him SHELDON!

Quote from Raj

Rajesh: Excuse me but I don't think Penny is out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like it you should've put a ring on it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago I told you not to talk to her, and now look. We're going to be late for the movies.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Sorry doesn't make up for the fact that I had to cook chicken and rice with this vegan guy. You know what vegan chicken and rice is? It's rice!

Quote from Leonard

Leonard:What am I supposed to say? Sure, Penny, I'm cool with having your old boyfriend sleep in your apartment.
Leonard imitating Penny: Well, Leonard, it doesn't matter if you're cool or not, 'cause I'm penny and I'm pretty and I can do whatever the hell I want.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Where exactly does the half-sandwich come from? Are you giving me half of someone else's sandwich, or do I have to wait for someone in the restaurant to order the other half?

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Wow, Sheldon, I cannot believe you made up your own game.
Sheldon: Oh, Research Lab is more than just a game. It's like the slogan says, the physics is theoretical, but the fun is real.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I should have asked for much more than a comic book and a robot.

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: Do you think I'd have rather been with you or sitting around for hours listening to my mother saying "Have y'ever pee'd so much in your life?"
Rajesh: Oh, you are such a momma's boy.
Wolowitz: Don't bring my mother into this.
Rajesh: You brought your mother into this!

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Well, I can't read your mind, Penny!
Penny: Really? Why not? You're so smart, and I'm so dumb.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: How is that not talking to me like I'm an idiot? It's my friend, it's my couch, and it's my freakin' life!
Sheldon: It's also your roll.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: I was thinking of closing early and going home, but let's face it, that's just a slightly smaller lonely room filled with comics.

Quote from Penny

Penny: All right, five. One, two, three, four, five. Oh, wow, look at that, my Department of Defense research grant is renewed.
Sheldon: Oh! Great roll! Now you can demolish your Soviet-style cyclotron and build the large Hadron Collider.
Penny: Yay.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hey, I thought of a game we can play in the car.
Leonard: I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It's called Scientists. Now, I will name three scientists, then you will put them in order of the size of their contribution to their respective fields. To make this game even more compelling, you must consider only the contribution of the man to the field, not the validity of the field itself. For example, Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayn made a greater contribution to the discredited field of alchemy than Halbert Vanderplatt made to neurobiology. Okay, ready to have some fun?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard! Stop the car!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I can't listen to the two of you fight anymore.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Come on, come on, we're late.
Leonard: Calm down, we'll make the movie.
Sheldon: I believe my alarm is appropriate, given the situation. The movie starts in 17 minutes, which means we'll need to make all the lights on Colorado Boulevard, plus skip the concession stand, and pre-show urination.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Hey. We're, uh, going to the movies.
Sheldon: No, we're not. We're standing in the hallway, suffering through an awkward encounter.
Leonard: Hang on. They're showing a new digital print of Time Bandits, you wouldn't want to come, would you?
Penny: Not really, no.
Sheldon: All right, invitation pointlessly offered, invitation declined as expected, everyone's civil, nobody's fighting. Have a nice evening.

Quote from Raj

Raj: You mean like when a guy's upset because his friend agreed to take a cooking class with him and then doesn't show up because he's doing a juice fast with his mother?
Howard: I didn't know you were upset about that.
Raj: Really! Did you miss all the subtle indicators, like me saying, "Howard, I am upset".
Howard: Okay, sorry.
Raj: Maybe it means something different in this country. Back in India, it means you're upset with a guy named Howard!

Quote from Penny

Penny: Oh, thank you very much. Come back soon. With the other half of my tip.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay, fine, it's soup and a small sandwich. Is that what you want?
Sheldon: Of course not. I'll have my usual.
Penny: Great.
Sheldon: Aren't you going to ask me if I want a beverage?
Penny: Don't you usually get lemonade?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: Do you want lemonade?
Sheldon: Yes.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Yes, I want you to apologize to Leonard.
Penny: I am not going to apologize. I've done nothing wrong. He is completely overreacting.
Sheldon: Irrelevant. The disruption in your relationship is making my life intolerable.
Penny: Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but this really isn't about you.
Sheldon: I don't follow.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Were you under the impression that Leonard has no complaints about you?
Penny: Like what? Yeah, yeah, I see you, you're making a little check sign in the air, I got it, just hold your horses. What does Leonard complain about?
Sheldon: Your driving, the plethora of stuffed animals on your bed that stare at him during your amorous activities, your constant tardiness, your singing.
Penny: My singing?
Sheldon: That's actually from my list, but Leonard would be a fool if he didn't agree with it.
Penny: Okay, if Leonard has so many problems with me, why hasn't he just said so?
Sheldon: Because, according to him, you're oversensitive and have a temper.
Penny: Oh, really? Well, then, do me a favor and tell Leonard that he can drop dead!
Sheldon: And she wonders why she's constantly under-tipped.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, good, you're home. I need you to do me a favor.
Leonard: Sure.
Sheldon: Go apologize to Penny.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Right now would be good.
Penny: (knocking) Leonard!
Sheldon: Although, a few minutes ago would have been better.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Sheldon! (whistles)
Leonard: What are you doing? He's not a lost dog.
Penny: Hey, why don't you just let me find him while you sit there hitting your imaginary brake?
Leonard: The brake might be imaginary, but that stop sign you just ran wasn't.
Penny: What stop sign?
Leonard: Eyes on the road. Eyes on the road!

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, answer the door! I'm busy!
Howard: I'm busy too. You answer it.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I can't! I'm on the toilet!
Howard: For God's sake, I don't need to hear that! Can't you just say, "I'm busy"?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I said I'm busy, but that wasn't good enough for you!
Howard: You know what? I hope it's one of those home invasion deals, and they shoot me in the head.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Well, if it's a home invader, don't tell them I'm on the toilet!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I'm not leaving until you talk to me.
Penny: All right, what's going on?
Leonard: It's a little hard to explain. He does this thing where he pretends he's in an alternate dimension that occupies the same physical space we're in, but he can't perceive us.
Sheldon: Don't flatter yourself. I'm just ignoring you.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Come on, Sheldon, let's go home. Look, we're done fighting.
Sheldon: I've heard that before, but then, the next thing you know I'm hiding in my bedroom, blaring a Richard Feinman lecture while my mom is shouting that Jesus would forgive her if she put ground glass in my dad's meatloaf, and my dad's on the roof skeet-shooting her Franklin Mint collectible plates.
Penny: Okay, there's going to no more shouting and no skeet-shooting.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You know, how about we buy you this robot, and then we all go home?
Sheldon: I want that one.
Penny: Okay, you can have that one.
Leonard: Oh, come on, he's just going to play with it twice, and then it'll end up in his closet with all the other junk.
Penny: Buy him the robot, Leonard.
Sheldon: Can I get this comic book, too?
Penny: Yes, you can.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: So, by friend, do you mean friend friend, gay friend, or ex boyfriend who you're now platonic with but still might have a thing for your friend?
Penny: Well, he's definitely not gay.
Leonard: Oh, a definitely not gay musician sleeping on my girlfriend's couch. Yippee!

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Oh and FYI, you never even heard of The Black Eyed Peas until you met me.
Leonard: I'd heard of them. Didn't know they were a band.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Oh, there it is again. You think I'm stupid.
Leonard: No, there's a difference between being stupid and acting stupid.
Penny: Oh, yeah? Well, there's a difference between being a jerk and being an ass.
Leonard: No, there isn't. They're synonyms.

Quote from Mrs. Koothrappali

Raj: I don't care! And why don't you think I can find a woman for myself?
Mrs. Koothrappali: Because you're twenty-seven, and the closest thing we have to a daughter-in-law is that Jewish boy Howard.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Come on, Leonard, if you roll a six, Penny dies horribly in a nuclear meltdown. See what I mean when I say the fun is real?