Sheldon: I feel renewed. I'm ready to deal with any changes that come my way. [sees Penny] Your hair is different. You changed your hair. I can't take this. I'm out.

Mary Cooper: Thank you, God, for the food we are about to receive and for the nourishment of our bodies and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen.
Sheldon: Given that your hands prepared it, isn't that a little self-serving?
Mary Cooper: You start changing the words to the prayers, next thing you know, you're in a church with a guitar.

Sheldon: Under normal circumstances I'd say I told you so. But, as I have told you so with such vehemence and frequency already, the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase, "I have informed you thusly".

Bernadette: How you doing, Howie? You feeling a little better?
Howard: Oh, a lot better, thanks. One sec. Listen close, I don't have a lot of time. I need you to go to my house. In my bedroom, you'll find a model rocket. I want you to take it and bring it back to your place.
Bernadette: Okay.
Howard: Step two, build a version roughly fourteen stories high. Fill it full of rocket fuel and come get me. I'll leave the door unlocked.
Bernadette: Howie, honey, maybe you should talk to someone, let them know you're having a little anxiety.
Howard: No, no, I'm fine. No anxiety. We should probably talk in code. From now on, frog is me, sandwich means you and lemon means rocket. So, come on, sandwich, build me a lemon 'cause froggy wants to come home.

Bernadette: See? You're doing great.
Penny: Yeah. Mediocre actress, great drug pusher. Who knew?

Leonard: You know, Penny, we make such a good team, maybe we could enter a couple of Halo tournaments sometime.
Penny: Or we could just have a life.

Leonard: I can do that. From now on, this mouth, you and food. That's it.

Amy: Ooh, there's a cover band in the lounge.
Penny: Eh, no.
Amy: But they play Barry Manilow.
Penny: No.
Amy: But they're called Fairly Manilow.
Penny: Oh, okay.
Amy: Great!
Penny: No!

Sheldon: What is the best number? By the way, there's only one correct answer.
Raj: 5,318,008?
Sheldon: Wrong. The best number is 73. [short silence] You're probably wondering why.
Leonard & Howard: No, no, we're good.
Sheldon: 73 is the 21st prime number, its mirror 37 is the 12th and its mirror 21 is the product of multiplying, hang on to your hats, 7 and 3. Did I lie?
Leonard: We get it. 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.
Sheldon: Chuck Norris wishes. In binary, 73 is a palindrome, 1001001, which backwards is 1001001, exactly the same. All Chuck Norris gets you backwards is Sirron Kcuhc.
Raj: Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator, upside down it spells boobies.

Sheldon: People, people, please, before you say something you both regret, I'd like to place my order.

Penny: Leonard, it's sweet you're excited about this, but it'll be a miracle if one person asks for my autograph.
Leonard: Are you kidding? I once paid $20 for Theo Sassler's signature.
Penny: Who's that?
Leonard: Oh, I don't even know. I just liked his name. Theo Sassler!

Penny: Wow, there's a Denny's in Vegas you can actually get married in.
Leonard: Doesn't sound very romantic.
Penny: Yeah, but we could get heart-shaped pancakes.

Raj: And please, if you have any problems, any questions, call me immediately, okay?She's my baby.
Bert: It shouldn't come up, but just in case: where could I buy a dog that looks exactly like her? Kidding. If she dies, I'll just tell you.

Raj: Is this just so we won't touch your stuff while you're away?
Sheldon: I'll admit that was a concern, but the fact is I'll need a support team, and the three of you are my first choice.
Howard: Really?
Sheldon: Well, there are others who might be more qualified, but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomach ache.

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey. So, your contract provides for a three-day trial period, and I don't think this is working out. So, to put it in legal terms, the party of the first part would like the party of the second part to get out.