Amy: You are aware that your ritualistic knocking behavior is symptomatic of obsessive-compulsive disorder?
Sheldon: Is not. Is not. Is not.
Amy: Denial. Denial. Denial.

Leonard: Sheldon, you do this all the time! You fixate on some crazy idea then blow it way out of proportion.
Sheldon: Name one time I've ever done that.
Leonard: How about the time you put GPS trackers in your garbage because you thought North Korean spies were stealing your doodles? The chicken nuggets you thought were human nuggets. The mysterious cloud that was following you around town. Or the time you put my shirt on by accident and thought you were growing again.
Sheldon: I said name one. You need to work on your listening skills.

Penny: What's up, buttercup?

Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before?
Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City?

Sheldon: I've been sitting in garbage!

Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, there you are. I need you to check my head for chair lice.
Leonard: I did it last night, I'm not doing it again.
Howard: Just his head, right?
Leonard: I don't want to talk about it. You didn't catch bugs from Penny's chair.
Sheldon: Yes, I did. And now they're cavorting at the base of my hair follicles, like dancing hippies at the Redwood National Forest.
Leonard: Sheldon, you do this all the time. You fixate on some crazy idea and then blow it way out of proportion.
Sheldon: Name one time I have ever done that.
Leonard: How about the time you put GPS trackers in your garbage because you were convinced that North Korean spies were stealing your doodles? The chicken nuggets you were sure were human nuggets. The strangely shaped cloud that was following you around town. The time you put on my shirt by mistake and were convinced that you started growing again.
Sheldon: I said name one. You really need to work on your listening skills.

Leonard: You know, some people might say that it's great that we're trying to make things work long distance. They'd say things like, love is stronger than the miles between you.
Sheldon: When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized.

Howard: When you say making it work, does that include doing the cyber nasty?
Leonard: What?
Howard: You know, the virtual pickle tickle. The digital bow-chacka-bow-wow.

Raj: Come on dude, that's my sister you're talking about.
Howard: Hey, Leonard jiggling his junk at her through a webcam has got to be easier for you to deal with than him actually touching her with it.

Leonard: You're a woman, and I'm going to make you feel things you have never felt before. That's right, say my name, and beg me for more because I'm going to give it to you.

Penny: What's the word, hummingbird?

Penny: What's the gist, physicist?

Sheldon: I miss the days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store.

Howard: Well, if you don't, you're gonna lose Priya to some fancy guy in a turban who grew up with Kama Sutra coloring books.
Raj: How can you be so racist?
Howard: Oh, come on, tell me I'm wrong.

Sheldon: Are those soy-based candles?
Leonard: I don't know. Why?
Sheldon: Paraffin candles may contain carcinogens. Unless lung cancer is the ambiance you were going for at your dinfast. Dinfast (rolls eyes).